A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend just told me that he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant a few years ago when they were together, but she had a miscarriage. This happened a long time ago. But now I kinda feel different around him. I don't know if it's because I look at him differently or what. Can someone tell me what it is I'm feeling and why I'm feeling this way even though the child was never born and it happened a long time ago?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): I think it is sometimes difficult to accept and want to believe that your partner / lover had a relationship and felt love for someone else. It is hard to accept that someone you love was that close to another. My boyfriend has 3 children with other women and made one of them also have an abortion. I find that very hard to take on board as I think if you can have three what difference would another make! I also think you may be thinking about having a family with him yourself and may be wondering about how he felt and behaved when that sad event happened. If you have a very strong bond and feel you can talk to him about anything I would ask him to talk to you about it. It may allay your fears. Ask him about his feelings, if they tried for another baby, how it affected their relationhip. He may not feel comfortable discussing this with you but I think it might help you personally to have more information. As the other posters have said it is all a long time ago but talking about it normally does help.
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