| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Even when I try to avoid it, my entire life prior to a relationship feels like it gets erased-my relationships with friends and family change so much. It seems I change after the breakup now, which is an improvement as I used to change during the actual relationship. Still, it yields the same pain because I lose people who can't see that I'm the same below my surface, or I lose interest in some people that I know (when I've met someone I've gotten really close to), or maybe they somehow see more of who I am after the breakup and don't like it. I think I might change too much for each guy that I'm with, but I don't think I'm becoming a worse person over time. The new friends I make after a relationship are usually better for me than the last batch, but it still hurts to have people from the past who I don't feel like calling or seeing, and who eventually don't call or see me either. I know it is abnormal to be this way, even if I sometimes feel I'm changing for the better. Why are these two interconnected--my romantic relationships and the relationships I have especially with friends? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (5 November 2009):
 This question is unclear. Do you change WHILE in the relationship? DO you lose friends while in the relationship or after?
With clarification, we may be able to help.
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