A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a silly question - first and foremost I need to clarify that I'm not hung on social media, just I'm curious and would like to see aunties and uncles on dear cupid view this situation.I've been with my BF for 3 years and have become friends on Facebook with all his siblings and most relatives. His relatives and friends often 'like' my posts and comment and this is how we keep communication going and bond growing as I don't see all of them regularly.However, his siblings rarely comment or 'like' my posts. They comment and like every one of each other's posts but rarely mine. Recently, we all attended a wedding together and his siblings posted pics of each other but not me or my BF. They also liked and commented on each other's wedding post but not mine. To me, that is just so odd...However, in person we get along fine. We can talk on a serious deep level and we hang out and eat and go to movies together. Seems like they don't want to validate me on social media but includes me privatelyWhat do you think of that?
View related questions:
facebook, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2016): The usual complaint is when people post pictures or take pictures without permission. It is best to err on the side of caution, and just assume you don't have permission.
Social media is not the end-all and say-all to anything. It is just a means of communication. It has now taken on the responsibility of rating and validating people; or assessing their worth. When on earth did this happen? The court of public opinion has no merit; because it is unbridled judgement that has no rules and no boundaries. So we have to learn to see it for what it is. Superficial and unsophisticated.
On this site, people come for opinion. You are anonymous and no one knows your identity; so opinions do not have to be taken personally, or simply ignored. Facebook has been given the power to make or break, build or destroy, or to publicly shame your enemy.
Let your boyfriend's family know in a shared post, that you welcome their "likes" and would love to share pictures and videos with them. Then they will know it's okay. It's better they didn't presume; than to broadcast pictures of you at moments you were unaware and may have had an objection. They as a group are family; so it's safe to like or dislike honestly. They deal with it on a personal level that goes beyond public media. You are a guest in the family; so you're given respect, and they respect your privacy. I wouldn't take that in a bad way.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2016): Whilst I do agree with the advice given so far I cannot help but have a niggling doubt - that there is 'something' not quite right. If privacy was such an issue (sharing pics etc) then why is there one rule as such for others and then it seems something different for you. It is not as if you have only been together 3 months and they don't want to share too much in case things go wrong in your relationship. Three years (and all you describe) means you are very much part of the family. Personally I cannot stand facebook but I do see how things become polarised on it (a lack of likes feels like a total rejection). The only possibilities I could think of for their behaviour would be jealousy of you or him (or both) in some way means they are reluctant to share or like and promote you further. Darker still would be that they have been negative about you and your boyfriend to other people and so now don't want to appear to be supporting / endorsing you publicly. You might never know the answer. My advice would be to stop liking or sharing their posts and see whether they notice. Maybe have a digital detox altogether for a month and see what happens when you join in again?
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (19 August 2016):
 I agree with Honeypie.
In my opinion the etiquette that applies to hard copy photographs also applies to digital images but a lot of folks don't get this. Perhaps your boyfriend's siblings do and they're not posting pictures of you as a courtesy.
I don't think there's anything here to suggest they don't like you or your boyfriend as much as they like others.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 August 2016):
 They might not post pictures of you to respect YOUR privacy in the sense that SOME people don't like their picture or that of their children to be plastered all over FB.
So it might be out of polite respect. Though they could always ASK you if it's OK to share your stuff/photos.
While you say you are not hung up about, you still seem to have "analyzed" it in a negative way. That it MUST mean they don't want to validate you on social websites. Why go there? Why look for a negative reason?
If you are serious that social websites means little then forget about it. Because let's be honest... what really counts is HOW they treat you AS A PERSON in PERSON.
I love my SIL and her side of the family. And I DO NOT post ANY pictures of them, nor my own kids. Certainly doesn't mean I don't want to validate them.
You have pictures of yourself that YOU like, post them and stop giving a flying duck what other think or whether they "like" it or not.
...............................
|
