A
female
age
36-40,
*eau_Gallante
writes:Its kind of annoying, I am 22 years old and I just want to be in a relationship (one day that is). I do not have any experience when it comes to dating and its like...no one wants to take a look at my "resume" I am extremely quiet, shy, kind...but I do not open up to just anyone easily. When I do find out that the ONLY motive is sex or if I think I guy I like is not interested...I turn into a totally ***** toward the guy (I mean really, really b!tchy) I am just sick of it. For example, this guy in my class was following me when I walked out of class and said that he wanted me. So I heard from a reliable source that if he does not get to know me well or has not made the effort to get to know me...he only wants me sexually.Anyways, I know that guys are physical and women are emotional...but gesh... :-(
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female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (3 July 2009):
Beau_Gallante is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks tux,
I am still a bit clueless about this one guy I really like at my school though. He is a really nice person...and I can not see him over the summer because I am not taking a semester until the fall(next month).
I keep on writing to him and sending him little messages on facebook just he knows that I am at lease thinking about him and he only responded to two things I said. I sent him those cute little "gifts" and he did not accept...he knows a lot of women.
I dont know, being the first to approach or "chase" is a downer because I dont want to waste time if he doesnt like me.
A
male
reader, tux +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Thanks for helping me clear that up some, GinsengMeow..But it is somewhat right that men can be more physical and women more emotional, but it does not mean that men throw out everything that is mental, nor do women toss out everything that is physical.If a man is totally in the physical realm, things will not work out and is not the right guy.If a woman is totally in the mental realm, things will not work out and is not the right gal.The best relationships always have a good middleground and if there is no middleground then neither party is getting what they want and should look elsewhere. If you are not finding that middleground with anyone, then you should look elsewhere, but don't start thinking that you will never find that middleground, because you will make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.If you find yourself constantly with the wrong guy, then you are doing something wrong.. Looking in the wrong places, falling for the wrong type of guys or in the wrong crowd.. Figure out why you always end up with the same kind of guys, and you'll save yourself in the long run.
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A
female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (2 July 2009):
Beau_Gallante is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAre you serious, women should be more outgoing? Lol, do you mean approach you guys more often or as a general personality trait? Lol, omg, that is not in my personality and I know I can not fake that trait...I get anxiety attacks when I walk in room full of more than ten ppl. Thats just me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): "I thought guys were more physical? And women more emotional?"
More and less still does not dictate that all men are one way and all women are another way. Everything is relative to the individual. There is no universal black and white statement that can support such a claim.
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A
female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (2 July 2009):
Beau_Gallante is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello Tux,
I thought guys were more physical? And women more emotional?
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A
female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (2 July 2009):
Beau_Gallante is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello LazyGuy,
Well I am an extremely shy person so when I have to make the effort to get to know someone, I am not sure if I am wasting my time with the person or not. I am probably to hard on myself but I do ask myself a lot of questions before I decide to persue someone first.
For example, if he is actually into someone else and doesnt really care about me? Does he think I am boring because I am not as outgoing as him? Etc...
He is very outgoing, confident and a lot of women chase after him...so I see myself as just another girl instead of a girl that he could actually get to know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): It's true, more women should be outgoing. It's interesting that you say people should get to know you, how are they supposed to do that if all you think they want is sex? Either you are not friendly enough and that is why you only get approached by aggressive guys, or you sabotage it when you meet a friendly guy because you are too suspicious. Either way it's you and you need to change. I have friends like you and it's honestly pretty silly to hear this from women. There are a lot of us who want emotional closeness and stability, we just don't want to do all the work and reassure you all the time that we're interested.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Well there are men that want more. They just tend to be extremely quiet, shy, kind... get the picture?
Why is that you say HE has to make an effort to get to know you? Sure, it is tradition for the woman to wait for the man to make the move, but you end up with men who make a move on anything in a skirt.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (2 July 2009):
Not all guys are only physical, it may see that they all are, but you are not looking towards the right ones or only the wrong ones come up to you. I have a feeling you need to step out of your mindset where you think all guys want is sex. It's not always like that, no matter what you want to believe it is. Just relax and be patient and the right one will come along. You just need to remove your blinders that keep you thinking that each and every guy is just after sex.
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