A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I have a problem with a few guys. That totally makes me sound like a slut, but I'm not.The first one is my ex. We had liked each other for years before we finally got together, and I was really happy while I was with him, which is rare. I'm usually not very good in relationships. Anyway, I was really falling for him, when all of a sudden, he broke it off on our 16 month anniversary. A few days ago, he decided that he wants me back. I still have feelings for him, but I don't want a repeat of last time, and I really don't want him back in my life. The next three are very similar. I only want to be friends with them, but they've all three said that they're falling for me. How do I handle that? And why do guys keep "falling" for me? Can I make it stop? The next is a guy that I've liked for a while, and he likes me, as well, but he just recently broke off an engagement, and I'm not sure if I want to ask for a relationship, in case he's still not over his ex. Also, I don't want to get into a relationship and risk hurting any of the other guys.The last one is a guy that I have a love/hate relationship with. Whenever I see him, or even think about him, I get butterflies, but he sends so many mixed messages, it's hard to know how he feels. And it makes me so mad I could spit. I dunno. I don't intentionally get involved with this many guys at one time. Three of them, I don't even *want* to be involved with. Ugh. Help?
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female
reader, visione +, writes (4 February 2010):
 You're going to have to be blunt to those who are falling for you, but you have no interest in them. It's better to break it to them sooner than later, help them move on by telling them it won't work. :) It'll save them a lot of misery, trust me.
As for the guys you like, it seems like you are a bit unclear on what you really want, since you fancy more than one person. Think about what makes you like in these people - what traits stand out to you? Give it some time, you don't *need* a guy right now to be happy!
A
male
reader, atheist +, writes (4 February 2010):
ok well it is totally agree able that these guys r the type that ''want what they cant get'' then fight for who ever they want untill there is a winner then the others will back off for a while.
you say you want no part in any of these guys yet they want you, dont be afraid to tell them to step off, if they are real men then they will listen and take the humiliation
also guys dont have mixed messages, they may tell u some thing now and opposite later but that is it, if they do this it is either to get attention, mess with you,or is having mixed feeling for you and is not sure what to say or do...
try and wait for any, clear sighns
if there r none then dont be afraid to keep looking it will prove to the other guys that you ment what you said(step off now!!)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): I get in that situation a lot too - it makes it so much more complicated being single than in a relationship!
A friend of mine recently told me the best thing to say to guys you just want to be friends with - say this to those 3 that you're certain should be your friends only: 'I love having you as a friend, but a relationship could never work with us. I could never love you in that way'. Make yourself clear and you should be able to keep them as friends, especially because it sounds like they haven't finished falling for you yet lol.
And as for the other 3 - keep going as you are and spend some time with them, without letting them talk you into anything exclusive or serious unless your feelings have become clearer. With some time, your feelings (and theirs) will start making more sense. For now, it sounds like you're doing the sensible thing :) good luck! And take some time for yourself too!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (4 February 2010):
 sounds like your a likable person thats a good thing you need to just let these guys kno your not ready for a relationship they cant help falling for
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