A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why are men attracted to women who can't seem to stand on their own two feet? My guy friend wants a confident, independent woman who can take care of herself. But he ends up dating women who are carrying a lot of emotional and physical baggage. The current girl he's dating has a kid with a drug addict, and her family is beyond dysfunctional. My friend told me that he's only dating her to make things easier for her and the kid, but as soon as he meets the girl he really wants, their dating days are over. Does this sound as bad as I think it does? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll of your responses make perfect sense, and I'm grateful that everyone is so friendly and nonjudgmental toward my friend or me. I've had somebody say I was too judgmental toward the girl, but I'm not. I don't want anybody taking advantage of somebody I love like a brother. I want to hear excitement in his voice when he talks about the girls he dates. I want to see that goofy happy look on his face when he falls in love. I haven't seen or heard that in the girl he's with right now. But, Shandy Pop and Dazzerg are right. The only thing I can really do is be there for him. Again, thank you, thank you for all of your kind responses. God bless you.
A
female
reader, NuttyGooner  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 to Anon - These girls you described, from my experience, also tend to be vacacious, indulged, childish, shallow and spoilt as they have no concept of the real world, and as long as daddy or sugar-daddy is there to clear up their mess, then where is the incentive for them to grow up? If that's the price of being Cute & Pretty, I'd rather be independant all the way!
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (2 March 2007):
"Based on my interpretation, Girls who have had been nurtured and protected by their parents since childhood tend to prefer guys who would be able to provide similar environment for her. Not to mention, these girls are also the ones who are quite cute, innocent and pretty as they have been looked after for by many."
These girls, from my experience, also tend to be vacacious, indulged, childish, shallow and spoilt as they have no concept of the real world, and as long as daddy or sugar-daddy is there to clear up the mess, then where is the incentive? If that's the price of being Cute & Pretty, I'd rather be independant all the way!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): Based on my interpretation, Girls who have had been nurtured and protected by their parents since childhood tend to prefer guys who would be able to provide similar environment for her. Not to mention, these girls are also the ones who are quite cute, innocent and pretty as they have been looked after for by many. An independent women could lose some of these girly qualities that some confident men crave for and may not make her quite attractive as a partner.
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (2 March 2007):
A lot of guys I know relish in the role of being the protective alpha male.They say they want a woman who has a high flying job, wants to go places in life, and they don't want a lass who lets it out for all to see and have a smart conversation, and, what do you know? They always go for the ditzy blonde who has no interest in working, who happens to be wearing the shortest skirt! LOL!A lot of guys like feeling needed (I know my guy mates do!), and love feeling important, it goes back to the old role of the male being the provider and protector. However I must stipulate that not all guys are like that! A lot of guys have been known to have higher standards!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): Some men have that fatherly being within them and they want to protect, nuture and help these women. There is nothing you can do but be there for him when it all falls apart, if it does. I think some people have a self destruct button and they don't let themselves meet the right people and go from one disaster to another. And it is not only men who do that, there are women who go for these type of men. Just be there for him.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): I think the problem is more the lack of confident, independent women rather than it being men going for the types of women they don't really want!
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (2 March 2007):
 I have to say I am glad I am not alone!! I go for exactly the same type and although it probably does my emotional health no good at all I still do it.
Seriously though the first thing to say is that your friend is obviously a top guy for being so compassionate and caring but you are concerned as his friend not to see him hurt and I can understand that.
I think it is a protective instinct to be honest. It's not an accident that often in flirting with a guy girls will act innocent and vulnerable. Guys respond instinctively with a desire to protect and care for. The other dynamic is that we all have something of a self-destruct button, you could ask why do girls go for bad boys?? Good luck to your friend.
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