A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll start by saying whenever I'm at school all I do is sit by myself and listen to music the whole school day. People constantly tell me I look depressed including my sister who is two years younger than me. I am pretty depressed if you ask me, and have extremely low self confidence. Some of my guy friends say that I could be a lady killer, including my brother in law. In fact, my brother in law had a talk with me because He is very concerned with how I isolate myself from people and events (He's 38 and I'm 18). He went on by saying that I am not an ugly kid, and I could get a girlfriend if I wanted. He also said there are some people who have a reason to be like me because they have real problems, but I shouldn't be one.My sister told me that I'm not ugly as well and said "Who would like you!? You never talk and look miserable all the time". So do you think that's why girls look at me like I'm a weirdo at school?
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (15 March 2015):
I understand your situation but it does not seem like you are making an effort to change. Close friendships do not happen by sitting around and listening to music all day. Girls do not approach you because you don't show interest in others. Sitting around all day implies that you have nothing in common with everyone else and that you prefer to be alone. If you were an active guy, would you want to talk to a girl who goes out of her way to seem isolated? I don't think so. The depression might be a cycle, so I would advise to do some physical activities or join a club to get your body active. This should also keep your mind busy and over time you will get that confidence you need when you start making the effort.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@janniepeg- No offense but I'm not like you at all I WANT to be the social guy, not necessarily with lots of friends, just a few really close friends. I have low confidence because I don't feel like I'm capable in doing things that other people can do, like getting and chatting with a girl and her liking me. I've NEVER had a friend that was from the opposite gender. I think girls are scared to talk to a creepy quiet guy. Guys have always loved me though (not in a gay way)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 March 2015):
 Because everybody should be happy, energized and aspire to go to their favorite college while you are the cynical person with deep philosophical thoughts, pondering on the point of existence? You are different so you have low confidence. The world does not encourage solitude as it is bad for economy and capitalism. The world needs rubber stamps, conformism to keep the world going round. People don't feel comfortable with things they don't understand. Xenophobia is the intolerance of seeing others living a way that's different than yours.
I was that person at school. I could have any boyfriend I wanted. I received looks just as you said. Even at work now people would be asking me why I don't talk. Even my mom thought she needed to rescue me because she thought I wouldn't be happy without friends. I am at 34 but I still feel happier without friends. Although I am married with a son. Now my mom understands there is nothing broken in me that needs to be fixed.
If you can accept yourself then you could care less about what other people think, but do develop enough social skills to get you through your career so you know how to appear pleasant and to deal with bossy people or bullying.
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