A
male
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*s what life is?
writes:I don't get it. Does it just happen to me or do other guys get it too. Whenever I ask out a girl she says yes... but dont tell any one. Any girls here that can explain why? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Liloutte  +, writes (3 June 2009):
We say "But don't tell anyone" because, we feel insecure. We want to make sure the relationship is going somewhere before you go out telling all your friends "Hey, I just scored that hot chick from math class!" I had to tell my first boyfriend ever not to tell his friends because I know they couldn't keep a secret. Now I'm stuck chasing after a guy, when guys always chased after me. But, even if he did ask me out, I'd tell him not to tell anyone. I want to make sure 1. he likes me for who I am, and 2. the relationship is going somewhere. Does that answer your question?
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male
reader, Mkz101089 +, writes (23 March 2009):
Okay well out of my experience this just means tht they like u like u but that there friends might not like u but if y'all been friends 4 a while tht she might not want anyone to tryand ruin your friendship or know the fact tht y'all r dating and r best of friends at the same time
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): its just tht..sumtimes we dont want other ppl to noe bout it. we're fine with the guy but its just the outside world..parents sometimes..in different cultures, going out with a guy isnt the perfect thing a girl should do..esp if they're still teenagers.
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male
reader, jmac1344  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 A girl said it to me once, not because she was shallow, but one of her friends liked me too.
Could be something along those lines.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006): Well i think it might b bcoz she has a reputation to keep up.
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female
reader, stina +, writes (1 November 2006):
 I meant to write "Hey *IWLI*,"
sorry!) :)
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female
reader, stina +, writes (1 November 2006):
Hey ISLI,
If a girl says don't tell anyone about going on a date with her, then I would seriously reconsider going out with someone who sounds so shallow. I would NEVER say that to anyone that I cared enough about to go on a date with! That's awful and really inconsiderate. See how it's confused you and made you feel? That's terrible for someone to do to you.
You should try to find girls who value you and your feelings more than what you wrote in your post. You have to put yourself first in these sorts of situations - don't set yourself up to be in a relationship that solely revolves around one person (her). That's just my opinion of it, though.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (1 November 2006):
 In my experience, it is all about her reputation. A woman's repuation is her most valueable asset. If she does not want anyone to know, it might be because her rep is at stake. It has very little to do with how much she does, or does not, like you. She might have concerns about her enemies, or family finding out, for reasons that you can not even imgine yet.
Consider that it is your job as a man to do whatever it takes to protect her rep, NO MATTER WHAT.
-Frank B KErmit
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A
female
reader, Evangeline +, writes (31 October 2006):
 Yeh often do it for a number of reasons.
It is not uncommon if it is there first boyfriend, they probably feel slightly nervous about having a relationship for the first time and dont want the added pressure of attention of other people at school, (everyones had the 'are you going out with so-and-so' by other students). This does not mean they are not proud of you or dont want to be with you - people just cope with pressures in different ways and some want to be more private about that part of their lives.
Remember if there are going out with you - they must like you, so it is probably a third factor that is making them behave like this!
Girls often don't like people knowing until they are in an exclusive relationship with men and are 'official' - and remember they may not view going out on a date as being exclusive, but merely as a date!
Girls also like to feel that they are in control of the situation and of who knows and who doesnt. So even though they may tell you not to tell anyone - they've probably told friends themselves, men on the other hand are usually not so worried about who knows and who doesnt.
It may also be as simple as they dont want their parents to find out, because their not really supposed to be dating etc.
Some girls may also be worried about their reputation - particulary if they've dated many times in the past, if they've been out with a ridiculous number of boys they may not want people to know that their dating again!
Of course your also going to get girls that dont know what they want or why their dating you! There is no point wasting your time on these people, and you will see whether your girls are like this very soon in the relationship - dont waste your time on them, and hey! if it doesnt work out at least no one will know you dated!
But you must remember that these girls are in the minority and are usually pretty obvious soon enougth; there are plenty of girls who have genuine reasons for wanting to keep it descrete (only some of which i have listed about); if your concerned talk to her and try to get to the bottom of it, without pressurising her (remember it may be something personal) but is probably something like she thinks its too soon to go official and that is absolutely normal at the beginning of a relationship!
Good luck!
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