A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid....I have one big question. Why dont boys [ever] like me? I am about 5'4, have dirty blond thats about a little past my shoulders, greenish blueish eyes, have a GPA (grade point averge) of 3.7 out of 4 , im skinny (105 pounds) but muscular ( im a competitive dancer, 6 hours of workouts per week ) , im funny , polite, i like to laugh, flirtacious, im not abnoxious, i talk to everyone despite their ' rank ' on the ' popularity scale ' , i dont think that im better than anyone AND im not a stereotype. I dont know what Im doing wrong. Im starting to believe that im not pretty, or that im just ugly and a brainiac and no one likes me. All my friends have guys all over them, but NO GUYS EVER ask me out or like me, EVEEEEEEER! And I also feel that the boys that Im intrestes in only like the girls with huge boobs, raunchy attitudes ( which im not like, i dont say ' go suck my ***' or anything like that), and are abnoxious. I feel soooo lonely because all my friends cuddle with their boyfriends, or kiss them and hold hands with them right in front of me, and i have nobody to do that with. The other night i was in conplete tears because it seems that i was just destined to be single forever. Ive had 1 boyfriend and he never did anything at all with me. So, my question is , what am I doing that makes the boys not like me and what can I do to make boys like me????Sincerely, Lonely Girl....P.S. Some people say I look like a younger version of Lauren Conrad, if that helps describe my looks.
View related questions:
boobs, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Isegrimm  +, writes (3 January 2011):
I think they´re afraid of you, but in a rather good way.
As you described yourself you are very beautiful so it´s not that you´re not attractive enough or something (but i think you know that already) it´s more like the opposite.
I´m 23 and even now i´d have troubles aproaching Girls with your looks. It´s a matter of selfesteem and confidence.
If you don´t want to wait for that to change (although it will happen in 1-2 years) you´ll have to approach guy on your own. Maybe you already have one in mind you really like or you think is interrested in you judging by his behaviour.
If the Mountain won´t come to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the Mountain^^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys (: ill be trying your tips when u get back to school from break!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): To be honest, I myself have never had a boyfriend before, and I'm in the same age group as you are. But I don't find this that bothering. Yes, sometimes I wonder to myself if it's because my looks, but I like to think of it another way. I like to think of it as looking for the right guy (call me old- fashioned or anything). I would just wait until the right guy comes along. After all, would you like a ton of bad boyfriends, boyfriends that would just use you?
...............................
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 From the age group you posted, it's not the easiest age to find a good boyfriend. Guys are awkward, stuck between being boys and growing into men. So of course, they are going to lack confidence to ask out a beautiful girl with an amazing personality. The raunchy girls-that's what they'll gravitate toward cause they look "easier" and appeal to their hormone-crazed bodies :p Those girls don't keep a guy's interest long trust me. Odds had awesome advice about meeting a potential bf! If you find you like a guy after knowing him a bit, the five sec stare works wonders. You smile, keep solid eye contact for 5 seconds and then, look away. It's flirty yet not raunchy and will put the seed in a guy's mind that you are interested. Small touches communicate that too. Think about a few boys that interest you, befriend them and then, go on group activities with other friends (bowling, movies etc) it's good to see how a boy acts around others, not just you. Don't sell yourself short! You sound like a great young lady.
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 First of all, part of it's your age. Guys are still figuring out the whole "ask girls out" thing, and the ones that have got it are getting snatched up (as you've seen). At this age, they go more for low-hanging fruit than anything else - girls who look like they'd say yes, not girls who are necessarily the best pick. That's the demand side of the problem.
The supply side is harder to judge. You sound like you have quite a bit to offer. Unfortunately, you can negate a lot of good points just by seeming too desperate. There's a saying - "The hungry don't get fed." Guys can tell you want *any* boyfriend, not just any particular one. They worry either that you won't value them for themselves, or that you will become clingy. If they've heard anything from your previous boyfriend, that could be giving them the idea.
Another problem is that you may simply not be sending any signals of interest. Thigns like patting a guy on the chest, playing with your hair, or making good eye contact. Without these signals, guys would think you're not interested and give up.
There may be other causes, but those two come to mind, and you can fix them right away.
One of the weird things about dating is that sometimes, by being a little pickier, we actually gain more options (up to a point). Find a handful of single guys you may be interested in, and start spending more time with them, or in their social circles. Flirt, without being obnoxious or raunchy, including the body language I mentioned above. Get to know the guys a little better. Let them see your personality in depth; it'll set you apart from the other pretty faces. Be open to meeting new guys after you start getting to konw these ones, and be picky when you start getting offers. Try to find one who will respect you.
As a side note, raunchy and obnoxious behavior draws a guy's attention because it's the mark of an easy lay. It does not draw their respect or commitment. Avoid falling into that trap; it's the female equivalent of when guys assume that all women dig jerks when really they just dig confidence.
...............................
|
