A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 41 years old and have never had a girlfriend in my life because I am completely unattractive and gave up on women in my mid-twenties.I decided to concentrate on work. I belong to a photography group and work out in a gym two or three nights a week. My first question is why do all women give me dirty looks or turn away from me in disgust if I happen to look at them (faces not bodies)? Due to these reactions I do not bother striking up a conversation with any women at all.I would love to have a girlfriend but with the reactions I receive(noted above)especially at the gym I know that it is as imossible now as it was before. I am not overweight as I am 5'6" tall and weigh 137 pounds. Also I never been able to build confidence no matter how hard I tried because I am continually kicked around by others. So confidence is also an impossiblity. My second question is is hoping I can find a girlfriend a exercise in futility guaranteed to fail?
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confidence, never had a girlfriend, overweight Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (5 September 2012):
 OP, if this only happened once in a while, we'd guess it was the women you're encountering, but if you're having this problem everywhere with all women, then it's got to be you. It could be your perception. Maybe women aren't giving you any particular look, but you've mistaken 'nothing' or 'mild curiosity' with hostility. It could be your body language and facial expression. You may be projecting something without being aware of it. If you expect women to reject you, you may be pre-empting them on a subconscious level. Without knowing you, and being unable to see what you're doing (or not doing), people can only make guesses based on the most common reasons women are turned off by men. No one is trying to attack you here.My suggestion is you speak to a life or dating coach. Someone who can see and hear you and pick up things about you that we cannot. I'm guessing that if you had a female friend or relative you could ask, you'd have done so by now. Male friends and relative might even offer some helpful insights.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): One final clarification I do not mope and I do not whine about anything. When something clearly isn't possible such as relationships with women I simply make a rational, well thought out decision and move on from there.
It would be moping if I did otherwise.
I asked two questions and looked for honest opinions.
Thank you for your responses.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): I also do NOT use women to complain about anything. I keep it to myself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): First of all I do not stare at them. Only happen to notice them for a second in passing. Secondly I do NOT go to the gym to meet women only to work out with my cousin. Women decide what a man is by his looks alone and then permanently label him
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (26 October 2010):
if you had any female friend or female relative
ask her about this
and tell her how to improve your looks and your attractivity
usualy women tend to help lonely men to find spouses,
finally you can seek marrige from abroad using TRUSTY
dating sites because there are many women whod love to
come and to live the rest of the lives in the usa
Good luck mate
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): You lack confidence because you let yourself.
Women at the Gym do not liked to be stared at. This is why half of them flock to women-only gyms.
Its because they think, that you are only there to perve on them.
You need to get away from that enviroment and look to things like volunteer work, bowling teams, work anywhere you feel comfortable.
You are seeing what you want to see. You are judging these women before you even know them.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): You sound like a quitter man. If something you don't understand gets hard you focus on what youre good at and then mope around because the thing you ignored stayed the same. For one some girls are just bitches, and thats what bitches do. Second the gym is the worst place to meet a girl because people either don't like the gym and wanna go in and out, or because part of the reason why they hate the gym is because men look at them. Thats why places like curves are popular. Start making women friends with no intention of them being a gf. You will get practice and when you try to get a gf they can give you a womans insight or even set you up and help u. And lastly dont be a creep which u know already, but dont be a whiny punk either. Dont use women to complain about how no women want to be near u. Theyll wonder why the hell theyre near u. U need to act condifent even if u arent. Most guys arent confident w girls bc a girl u like will make u nervous. But dont run away like that.
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