A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband recently had lunch with a potential new boss. He met him a couple years ago, when we had just moved in together (not married yet). Now, my husband and I are expecting our first child. He's very proud to talk about it with everyone he's currently working with. He told me during the lunch with this potential new boss that he didn't mention expecting a baby, because he didn't want him to think he couldn't handle the work-load, which I understand. However, he also confessed that he didn't tell this potential boss that he had gotten married since they last saw each other. I really didn't get that, and I asked him why, and he didn't really give me an answer. This upsets me and I'm perplexed. Why would he do that?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 April 2013):
 It could be that he is waiting to get the job to start talking about his family. I think women like to share these details more then men in general.
Also, I don't think he did it to "snub" you, his wife.
The guy is not a friend of your (or really of your husbands) so honestly, I wouldn't worry about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): It's one thing excitedly telling friends and long-term co-workers that you are married, and another telling a potential future boss. Your husband probably realises that it's something that could affect whether he gets the job or not and so he chose not to say anything. To be honest, it sounds like it was irrelevant to the conversation. It was a business meeting, not an opportunity to gush about his marriage and I think your husband did the right thing not to mention it.
The job market is extremely competitive and there are a lot of very good candidates looking for work, many of whom may be single and (in an employer's mind, at least) able and willing to dedicate more time and energy to the job because that is their focus right now.
Your husband needs to get his foot in the door, he can mention the fact that he is married at a later date. Maybe I am missing the point here but I don't understand why you are upset and confused, or why you are even asking your husband whether he told his potential boss that he had got married.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): I had only one or two close co-workers that I would tell what was happening in my life.
I left my personal life at home. The less the company knows about my personal life the less goes into my Human Resources file at work. I certainly wouldn't tell my boss much and only a limited amount of information.
I had a friend that worked in Human Resources and everything about you goes in their files including your character traits and if the company should hold on to you and not let you go or if you next up to get laid off.
If he gets the job, then yes, his boss will know then about his marriage to you and your having a baby. I expect your husband will take time off from work when you have the baby and the company and his boss will know about it at that time and prior to the birth date. He will have to give them a heads up that his wife is expecting.
You husband needs to protect himself if he gets this job and not rock the boat. In this bad economy getting a decent job at all and holding on to it people have to do whatever it takes until the economy turns around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSince we got married and are expecting a baby, he's been very excited about telling everyone he knows. It seems odd that he was so closed about his personal life to this potential new boss. He's an older gentleman, a wealthy grandfather type. It just doesn't really add up. When I asked him why he didn't say we got married, and just said, "I donno why I didn't say that."
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 April 2013):
Sooooo?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2013):
That seems odd, I have to agree. Does he normally keep private things close to the vest?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, he said the potential new boss asked about his personal life and he said we're still together but didn't mention marriage.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2013):
Maybe the interview meeting was about work, not his private life?
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 Does it matter that much? The fact that he talks about it with his current workmates means he's not trying to hide anything or pretend to be someone he's not. If he didn't mention the baby, he probably didn't mention the marriage for the same reason, if he thinks his potential boss might be put off by him having a family. If he gets the job and still doesn't mention anything, that might be weird, but as it is I would drop this. It's not a big deal.
Congratulations on the baby.
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