A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ive been dating this guy for about a month and a half now. and the other night while fooling around we started talking about our first night together.. i told him i was ready but i just wasnt sure. so the next day we both we knew we were gonna be alone again so i had been thinking about it all day and so had he. well when it came down to it he got an erection and within a few minutes los it. i wasnt sure what it was but he told me he really liked me and that he was nerveous because hes really attracted to me.i want to believe him but if he was really hot for me why didnt he just go for it? we got to talking after this incident and he said that what i had said the night before had him thinking about us together all day, which i guess can put alot of pressure on him but stil.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 November 2008):
The female advisors below all provided excellent thoughts - now from a man's viewpoint, yes we can be very nervous at first for several reasons, such as fear of getting you pregnant. But if you are ready, I think that the most effective thing you can do the next time you are alone together is snuggle up and sweetly begin rubbing his privates. Providing you are both prepared for safe sex, eventually go down and kiss/lick a bit. That should get him up strong and likely keep him going. But I agree that a good relationship should precede serious sexual activities.
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (1 November 2008):
I don't think it's you, most men have a moment like this.
He might like you alot and as you said he'd been thinking about it all day, you might not have put any pressure on him but he might have been worried about pleasing you, and making sure he got it right.
I think he's being honest with you, don't make this into a big thing or you might find he's going to be even more worried that it will happen again.
Try and laugh it off tell him it's not a big deal, make him relax about the whole thing and try again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): PREGNANCY. LOSS OF RESPECT FOR YOU. YOU PURSUING HIM SEXUALLY, YOUR IDEA TO HAVE SEX....all these come to mind. Back off and see what happens next.....Let me ask you a question. Do you really like this guy? Do you want him to be your boyfriend and be only with you? Then why don't you put the relationship first? If all you want is sex and he wants more, then he can sense that a mile away....Be a lady and be his friend first if that is what you are after instead of a roll in the sack.
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