A
male
age
41-50,
*oker08
writes:HiBackground- boy meets girl in 2003 at college, fancies her like mad, and she seemed to like me too. I heard through the grapevine that she was, well, a slut.. so this put me off.By late 2004 I was still thinking about her despite having been dating other girls.She moved to a different, but close by town, over a year ago.I got back in contact circa 2005.Soon we were an item, and for a period it was great we were both in love. I was naive because it was my first relationship so I did not see the signs early on that she might stray. The relationship deteriorated to a point that we seemed to have little respect for each other by just over two years. Despite this, I still loved her, we just took each other for granted, or maybe it was me doing that. I was living out of her pocket.She broke it off, I was really hurt.Then I discovered she had been sleepng with at least a few guys behind my back while we were together.This hurt even more. She denied all this and that just made me see the real her for the first time.Pathetic and distinctly unattractive.Eventually I mostly got over it.I turned my life around and my outlook on life. Met new people, started seeing new girls and got my flow back and then some. The only outstanding thing was that I owed my ex 600 bucks. (I have almost saved this and will be posting the check next month)After over six months of no longer receiving emails demanding the money back, I get this message this week-___________________________________Hello Joker,I am not sure if this is still your email address or if it is you will even read this. I'm sure as hell not expecting a reply and don't worry I don't intend to try and create any drama. This is more for my own peace of mind as I have been thinking about my future and plans for the new year. This year started badly and I feel like I was so shell shocked by the way things went that I never had the chance to say my part. I know that this next year will start better. I know it is ancient history now and I think I finally realized the reason you kicked off like that was not due to any proof or even serious belief that I could have been doing what you accused me of.Now that it's gone I can say I loved you so much you have no idea. If you had just got your **** together I would have been happy staying with you forever. I never cheated on you or did anything behind your back. Looking back I see the constant pushing and pulling and dumping and taking back was down to total immaturity on my part. I should have been much stricter with myself but I really really loved you. I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to realize I didn't need you so much as wanted you, as it ended up being a major part of things ****ing up. For all your protests that you are not *normal* and "don't fit in", in the end you shat all over someone who believed and understood all the **** you talk and totally loved you for it. I'm not going to pretend you didn't hurt me a lot...however, as they say the best revenge is living well. I hope the next year is good for you, though I hope more its a good one for me.Betty_________________________________What the heck was that about?What does she mean 'I hurt her' ?!!!Is she completely insane?!, and unaware of how much pain I went through?!!!??!!!!!!What does she mean 'the best revenge'SHE'S THE ONE THAT DUMPED ME?!!!The only thing I would ever want from her would be her to say sorry.I have already forgiven her and moved on with my life. If she said sorry, at least I would be able to respect her a tiny bit.What is the motivation behind this email?What does it say between the lines?Why has she made contact?It's pretty evident she is still living in denial, but why write to me again and say this stuf?Many thanx to anyone who reads/responds to this...
View related questions:
money, my ex, period, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pharohqueen211  +, writes (4 February 2009):
Ok. Wow. Ill start by saying i do understand where she is coming from. I was married to a man who as u put it "lived out of my pocket" i worked 2 jobs and was in college while he did nothin but sit at home and smoke his brain away. This made me resent him and push him away. Maybe she cheated maybe she didnt. At this point infedelity is irrelevant. She dumped u cause she couldnt be ur enabler anymore. Being able to realize this and end the cycle takes alot of courage and strength. U should appologize to her and like u planned pay her what is owed. Thats my opinion anyway.
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Email sounds like she is trying to maninpulate you to email her back even using a bit of reverse psychology "i sure as hell dont expect a reply".
Maybe like sarcy24 said she isnt happy with her life and hopes that you are as miserable as her and want her back. Who knows she sounds like a sad girl maybe thats why she slept around out of self hatered loneliness attention?
I think your better off out of this dont contact her again and get sucked back into a doomed relationship
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Send her the money when you can, that will be the closure you need. I don't think you should respond to her in any fashion. Leave it lay, but soon as you can send her the money, and don't include a note or anything. This woman sounds like bad pizza to me, good riddance.
...............................
A
male
reader, Joker08 +, writes (15 December 2008):
Joker08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx a lot sarcy24.
If anyone else can offer anything, that would be greatly appreciated also.
...............................
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (15 December 2008):
 This reminds me of a mumber of texts that I used to get from my husband when we were getting divorced and still sometimes receive. It never ceases to amaze me how people who have normally behaved despicably can in their own mind turn things round so they see things in a more self flattering light. With regard to your text your ex obviously still feels something for you but instead of being mature enough to send a note to this effect has to send a note justifying her actions and blaming you. I truly do not believe she actually believes what she has typed it is a more an attention seeking text to test the waters so to speak. Whether you choose to reply or not is up to you. My ex husband used to manipulate data to blame me for things I hadn't done and really messed with my head so I began to doubt my own actions. I think the question here is 'do you want her back' because I think she is there for the taking. Personally if she wasn't very kind and slept around I would stay well clear and you appear to have got yourself together and to have got over this lady so it may be like opening a can of worms. From the text she is clearly not at all happy with her life and reading between the insults she thinks you were the best person for her but instead of saying this clouds the issues with points that she was unhappy with about you when you were together. If you respond this is going to turn into a text war of recriminations but she may well want this just to open any channel of communication. I think the ball is very firmly in your court.
...............................
|
