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male
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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my ex girlfriend four months ago.She got to uni and wanted freedom. I was putting her under pressure and made her feel smothered. By the end, I was insecure and paranoid. I don't blame her for breaking up with me. Since we split, I've really learnt my lesson and we've been talking here and there as friends. On Saturday night, I was out with some friends in a club and whilst standing at the bar, my ex came and tapped me on the shoulder. The first time I'd seen her since we split. We hugged and it was really nice to see her. It wasn't awkward. It was a bit tense as you would expect but we avoided talking about "us" and just spent time catching up. She bought me a drink and when I made an excuse to leave her so she could go back to my friends, she said "no, you can hang with me if you want". So I did. She then took me over to her uni friends and introduced me to them all. They were all really nice to me. On our way home that night we text each other saying it was nice to see one another. I was doing OK that night. I was feeling happy with how the random meeting went. But since then, nothing. It made me realise that I still love her more than anything and whilst I am getting on with my own life at uni now, I still miss her deeply. I could sense that there was still something there when we were together briefly the other night. The reasons we split don't really exist anymore.I sent her a text last night to test the water and said that it'd be cool to see her again sometime if she wanted. She didn't reply. I feel worthless today. Whilst it was so nice to see her at the weekend, I wish I hadn't. Why did she make so much effort with me on Saturday? She could've just said hello and left me to it. What do you think she is thinking?I really want her back but I don't want to scare her by being too forceful. What should I do?
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female
reader, kellz7  +, writes (12 March 2008):
Im sort of going thou the same thing as you! It sounds like she may miss you and was genuinely pleased to see you but phaps she had had a bit to drink and in the morning realised that she could have given you the wrong impression! She might be feeling a bit guilty thats why she hasn't replied to you!
If you want her back dont get in touch with her to soon leave it a week and if she hasn't txt you by then just send a friendly hi how are you type of message but keep it short!
If she still doesn't reply to you then move on yes it will be hard but once you start going out with friends and keep yourself occupied with other things you wont keep thinking about her!
If she wants you back she will be in touch just dont hold out for her it will be hard but you will be ok!
Good luck xx
A
male
reader, g247  +, writes (12 March 2008):
Truth be told dude, it's most likely that she's not into getting back together but in the club felt that there was enough time passed that you two could work on a friendship.
There's the slight possibility that she does want you back and is just confused about her feelings too, but it's doubtful from what you say. She'd probably have replied to you in some form if that was the case.
She may be ignoring you now because she feels that you misunderstood her intentions that night.
I'd advise you to give yourself time to get over her, then if and when you think you can be friends (and just friends), contact her again.
If you really want her back that badly though, perhaps let her know how you feel. Though chances are you won't get the response you want, at least knowing her thoughts on the matter will help you get over her.
Don't get your hopes up though. Doesn't look like it's going to happen to be honest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Be cool!!
Leave her alone. If she enjoyed the encounter as much as you she will get back to you.
If you keep texting she will think you have not changed and back off.
It always pays to play hard to get.
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A
female
reader, angel of love  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 well first of all take a step back take a deep breath and relax....girls have a tendency to be confusing and unpridictable. it's possible that she just wanted to be nice and spend some time with you so that you don't think that there's bad water between you...and that thats all there is...a common desency...or she wants to be with you but she doesn't want you to be pushy and forceful...she might be afraid that you are still the same...the best move for you is to relax and let life take its course.
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