A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that the good guy ends up the jackass? My gf broke up with me telling me she loved me but was overlaod with work, her son so on and so on. I am such a sucker. My best bud sister is her friend and everyone's talking behind my back about how my ex moved in with a guy 3 weeks before breaking it off. Why didn't she just tell me? I'm going to go through girls and not give a crap about how they get lied to by me. The only way I'll get off and love love love is to be a bad boy.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 December 2010):
 Sometimes the good guys don't realize they've chosen poorly. Sounds like you picked a woman with some baggage, you mentioned a son, so at least one ex, and I can guess that there were probably other red flags you might have seen but either didn't recognize or chose to ignore.
Rather than turn your anger onto all your future dates, why not channel it into more productive uses and determine why it is you wound up with this woman in the first place? Then figure out how you can choose better in the future, so you don't wind up heartbroken.
I am sorry you are feeling so unhappy but you aren't the only one who's been dumped without the full tale from the dumper. There are plenty of women out there in your situation, too, they've been dumped by a guy for some other girl.
Good luck as you try to recover from the breakup. I guess it's a life lesson, try to move forward positively, rather than negatively, okay? It's healthier in the long term.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): Yeah go for it for the craic. Go off and hurt girls, become a thing you hate because one girl hurt you. Real mature dude, go do to other girls what's been done to you, go on sure why not? Why not hurt good girls, girls that might even turn out to be very loving and loyal girls because of your bitch ex.
Go make some nice girls bitter and resentful just like you, that will work, that will definitely make you feel better right? Knowing how they feel because it's been done to you. Punishing innocent people because you're angry.
Actually you don't sound like a "nice guy" at all, if you don't see what you're proposing is harsh if this is the way you handle problems then you have no right to call yourself a nice guy because you're not. So stop even considering yourself that because you're not.
It isn't about nice guys finishing last or any of that crap. It's about being a good and honourable man but also a strong man. One who will take this pain and overcome it, not let it turn him into a sniveling little weasel prick that goes around hurting women because he wants to take his problems out on other people.
So if you can do that and not give a crap then you're as bad as your ex, the very person you now despise is what you aspire to. Well you know what? Those are the actions of a wuss and a coward.
Well go ahead then, but don't expect any kind of happiness because that complete disregard for others is not going to help your self respect at all.
You want to call yourself a nice guy? Then you stop being a little pussy and you dust yourself off, only a child blames the world for why things go for them.
You wannabe a man with a chance of finding a good girl for a long lasting loving relationship in the future? Then you will get over this, you will not let one bitch change who you are, you won't compromise your principles or morals just because you're angry and hurt. No, what we men do is fight pain, we fight to overcome obstacles not give in to them and give up like a little boy.
The girl was a bitch and you're going to let her turn you into one? Are you serious man, are you that weak? Are you that much of a pussy that one failed relationship is going to turn you into a complete asshole. Damn dude, you're in for a hard life the man. Because we get some amount of shit thrown at us in our lifetimes and if your solution is to give in to anger and hate, then you're screwed.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 December 2010):
 So stop me if I'm wrong. What you want to do is hurt a whole bunch of girls, turn THEM callous towards guys and become a major loser because some girl lied to you? So now you're indicting our entire gender because your heart was broken?
Maybe, just maybe this didn't happen because you're a "nice guy". Maybe this happened because your girlfriend is an immature waste of space who doesn't deserve you. Ever stop to think that if she has the power to turn you into an even worse creature than she is, that she will have totally and utterly beaten you?
Your best revenge is NOT to become a "bad boy" and hurt many women, thus becoming worse than your ex. Your best revenge is to STAY who you are and find a girl who DOES deserve you and become the happiest guy in the world. Your ex is going to become lonely and miserable due to her actions, yet you will be with someone who cherishes you as much as you do her.
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