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Why did she have to go to some random guy at a party to make her feel special?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 March 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok people i need some help im going to try to keep this as simple as i can but no promises.

soooooo me and my gf are dating for almost 2 yrs and we have had our good days and bad days just like everyone, this just so happens to be the bad days. she told me that im not as sweet and affectionate ect, so i promised her that i would work on it and ive been sweet like i used to be at the beginning of the relationship because i truly love this girl and wanna live with her forever. a week into the my sweetness she comes over to my aparment and tells me she went to a couple parties not thinking anything bad cause i know (thought)she wouldnt hurt me and i ask her "meet any cool people" she replies "ya i met a cool guy that your friend is friends with" and i said cool so we laid in bed cuddling till we had to go to work.

a few days ago a friend of mine is part of myspace facebook ripoff kinda website and says he sees her flirting with this guy and he's callin her babe and he cant wait to see her and her friend again and goin out dancin.so me being a regular guy needs to see it for myself and i make a profile to this website to just see. well my friend was right and i get angry and cry and all couldnt sleep so at like 5 in the mornin i called her to leave a voicemail to tell her to call me but she picked up and well i start to cryingly scream what is all this about babe and seein you. well she being half asleep tells me that its the guy from the party and i get pissed and tell her i'll talk to her later. so i text her and we talk and argue and she finally comes out and says she was flirtin but it wasnt meant to go more then just friends at the party. she goes on to say that he made her feel special and all that. after talkin to my and his mutual friend i find out that he does this with all girl just to get in their pants.

she says shes sorry and all that but i just dont understand why she would lie or keep it a secret about this while we are trying to fix our problem at the time. is it my fault that im letting her slip through my fingers? why would she have to go to some random drunk dude to get that special feeling? and should i confront the guy because he knew that her and i are dating??? if i do confront him i will try not to hurt him i promise :)

well this isnt as short as i had planned but if anyone who has had this problem or something like it please for the love of all that is sacred in love help me

View related questions: drunk, facebook, flirt, myspace, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012):

thank yall for all your help sunday she is coming over to my apartment sunday and all will hopefully go well and if not im leaving for the airforce soon and i will look at life completely differnet well like i was sayin thank you so much and "honeygirl" is the flirting cheating or do you think they hooked up?

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2012):

bronzed adonis agony auntShe is that way inclined and will probably do it again. You are young enough to get over this and find another girl who`s more balanced and secure.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012):

This is unfortunately all too common with young women. Some of them need male attention and that leads to things like this, which can (and often does) end up with cheating. Girls can be very insecure, so when some random guy flatters them with compliments and attention they eat it up. It makes them feel attractive and desirable.

In short, no, it is not your fault at all. Your girlfriend is at fault, and she has broken your trust. If it were me, I would dump her, but I know that you're in love so that's not something to be taken lightly. You'll have to decide whether you can trust her again or not. She may just not be mature enough for a lasting relationship at this point in her life.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (14 March 2012):

Honeygirl agony auntSorry but your gf cheated on your with that other random drunk guy.

Sit down with her and discuss your relationship as there is obviously wrong. Maybe she just isnt into you that much anymore.. but regardless cheating is NOT the way to sort out relationship problems.

She needs to be honest and open about her feelings for you espcially now that she has destroyed some of your trust in her.

To be totally honest, you shouldnt confront the other guy, your fight is with your gf. If she was faithful to you and this guy came onto her, she should have turned him away..... but she didnt so she is the guilty party.

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