A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm newbie here. Anyways, I just wanted to share my story, a story which I held it for a long time since I don't have no one to talk to..This is gonna be a long one, but i'll try to make it short as much as I can. I hope you guys will understand and I was hoping someone will give me a advice, I'm pretty sure it'll help me a lot...So here it goes...I've been with this guy for almost 7 years. He was more like a husband to me. When he comes and visits me at my place his breakfast is ready,he would just sleep and rest when he wakes up his lunch is ready..Breakfast lunch dinner desserts everything...Are all made from scracth..When friday comes I would go to the market all by myself to get some goods so I could cook for him the next day.Ive done that for 7 years. I used to work night shift before on saturdays if i have time i would stop by to his place. I would go there and clean his place, washed his clothes iron all his uniforms and cook. I would always do that whenever I get the chance. Just a note, I don't drive and he lives two hours from my place. first yr of our relationship was so smooth after a few months he said hes getting married. First of all he doesnt have a papers thats what he said and hes just gonna marry for papers. He ask me to hold on and I did, because I love him.Then a month later he told that he didnt do it, he ask me to give him a chance, and I did because I love him. For two years everything seems fine not until his mom called me and said I wasnt the only one. Just a note his mom hates me and i dont know the reason why. I told my bf about it and he said just ignore it. Then another 2 yrs had passed, those two years our relationship was rough, there would are times he doesnt show up when he said he was going to, and wouldnt even call me and tell me what happen. I don't ask for romantic dates,everytime our anniversary would come I would set my place a date for two. I would make him a card and my own poems. Or sometimes just for no reason. Then one day I accidentally bumped to his brother we talked for a lil while and he accidentally said that my bf was actually married and has a kid already, whats worst is that his brother doesnt know we're still together that time. Then few hours later he called I was calm I didnt tell him anything not until I realized i need to break it off with him. And whats worst one time he just showed up to my place and he saw i was with my brothers friend he said i cheated on him, he knew that guy was actually gay. He was so mad for few months he would come by and ask me to give him anther chance. I did gave him another chance coz i thought everythings gonna change for good.But I was wrong, why coz after just about six months he just called and said he doesnt need me anymore.He said its not enough I wasnt good enough Im not good enough and he said he couldnt trust me anymore.He made up some stories so that I'll look bad.Then just a month after what happen he finds out that I was dating another guy,he just showed up again like nothing happen.Then we started going out again,but this time no commitment, we would still do the same things as what we do before but no commitment, coz he said he loves me but he cant trust me.I pretty much did everything for him, well not everything but almost anything that you could think of just for the relationship to be save. I did everything I could because I love him.But just about three months ago, he just walked away without saying goodbye and take the road of friendship..Now he doesnt even talk to me. Its like as if he doesnt even know me....I miss him so much...I wanted to call him but im trying not to... coz 3 weeks ago I called him to say hi, he was so mad and said, he wants me out of his life, he doesnt love me anymore, he said i was pathetic for calling him, and whats worst he said im a whore, a slut a bitch..Oh well he always does that whenever he's mad...He calls me name whenever he feels like it..I am not perfect, I am only human and I make mistakes...But i did tried to be good to him as much as I could.....Its just that why did he just walked away?He couldve at least talked to me personally and say he cant be with me anymore?Right?There are questions in my heart thats left unanswered.There are times I miss him so much...What should I do?Btw, he was my first bf...and just for the record I dont have any friends here bcoz he doesnt want me to have friends coz hes a jealous person..and yeah, I know Im stupid, but what can I do? =(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): You don't miss him, you miss what he used to be back when things were going smoothly enough that his true colors didn't show...yet. What you are longing for is what you wish could be, but the reality is that he is not who you thought he was.
Remind yourself that the guy you miss and long for, is NOT the real him. The relationship you once had, with its domestic bliss when things were so good, that was just superficial, that was not real. even then it looks like the relationship was all about you going out of your way to do things for him. what has he ever done for you?
it always hurts when relationships come to an end. Just tell yourself that the relationship you are still holding on to, was not real. See him for the person he is now, not the person you were under the impression he was a long time ago before his true colors showed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the first person who answered my questions....imagine his poor wife?he said hes not married and he didnt actually did..he said if ever hes gonna do it he said just for papers...idk how am i supposed to believe him?i just really hoped one day he'll talk to me and tell me what did i do wrong?coz honestly he was never opened to me..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): If a man tells you that he's playing another woman so he can be with you, you had better best believe that he'll pull the same thing on you. The man is a liar and a cheat. Yet, you are surprised that he lied and cheated? Apparently, he has major issues and a bit of anger towards women.... you allowed yourself to 'believe' a 'story' you created in your mind as it concerns WHO HE IS. The truth is... you have no idea who he is. All you know is the mask he's worn.If someone is showing you who they are.... BELIEVE THEM.Walk away, brush yourself off. At least you don't have children by him that you'll have to worry about. Imagine... his poor wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): You have wasted 7 years on this man. Draw a line now and cut him out of your life. You ask what you can do? Start from now by making friends, socializing. He doesn't own you. Be your own person. Have no contact with him. Nothing. Its hard I know but you need to give yourself a chance to meet someone lovely who will treat you with love and respect - that's what its all about at the end of the day.
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