| A ,
anonymous
writes: When a man pulls away from you emotionally...what is going on? I was dating a man for a long time. We had a nice relationship but then he suddenly would get cold and distant with me for no reason. It was usually after his ex-girlfriend with whom he had a very unhappy relationship with, phoned him. He also was telling me about how his ex wife took the kids away from him and ran to her parents' house when they broke up. And when he went there to see her..she would not speak to him. He sounds like a troubled man and I am beginning to wonder if he abused her...especially for a wife and kids to disappear like that. What do you readers think?
View related questions:
broke up, ex girlfriend, ex-wife, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer. I had always assumed this guy would get back together with his old gf..the one who hounded (phoning) him constantly when we were dating. I had asked him to cut off contact, but he wouldn't. Ironically, after I had enough of her interference and his lack of willpower to tell her to stop..I think he was enjoying the game of making me feel uncertain and unsafe. I ended it with him. I was sure she would be back on his doorstep, wanting back in his life. I found out later, that after I broke it off with him-she stopped calling him and went back to another ex bf. Go figure..ha! But his distancing was very odd...like an eery moodiness. Glad, we are through! It was this moodiness of his, that made me wonder what had happened years ago, with his ex wife and kids.(possible abuse) I think this guy had a side to him that I feel, I was lucky enough "not' to find out about.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2005): There could be any number of reasons why his wife took the kids and left. Abuse is one possibility, but there may also be another. When intimate relationships go wrong, people don't always behave rationally. If she was angry about something, she could have left and taken the kids in order to punish him. Maybe one or the other of them had an affair, which created a rift in their relationship. It could be anything. If this worries you so much, maybe you should ask some gentle questions about it. Tell him that you have noticed how he gets distant after his ex calls and you don't understand what that's about. It's possible that he doesn't even realize that he's doing that.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (29 June 2005):
Why does he still accept phone calls from his ex? if this was my boyfriend id ask him to change his number. If he didnt or if the calls continued afterwards, i'd dump him!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2005): I feel from what you are saying that your man is still in love with his ex. I'm really sorry to say this, but I think you should move on and find someone who appreciates you for who you are. You deserve someone who loves you and is not in love with his ex. It sounds as if he has been perstering her to get her back and that's why she will not speak to him. Keep your chin up and get out and find a nice guy who will treat you better. xx
...............................
A
reader, Joe Mamma +, writes (28 June 2005):
What I am left wondering from your question is this: why would you even think he's a closet abuser? What has he done that would cause you to think that? If the answer is nothing, then you're not being fair. Maybe he is just afraid of being wounded again. If the answer is something, then don't even try to figure him out. There's no point. Move on.
...............................
|
