A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well i have been dating my significant other for about 6 months and he had his status as single until recently when i looked and saw that it said, "it's complicated" now i don't have any idea how i'm suppose to take that and i don't know if that is necessarily a bad thing considering it went from single to it's complicated, but why?lately he has been acting strange but we have been talking and resolving some issues and i come to his page and see that...he calls me his teddy bear and i even told him that i was afraid that he might leave me and he told me not to worry about that and when i don't tell him things he asks why don't i let him know and lately we have been talking a lot (more than before, we use to talk for like a couple of minutes, but now we talk for hours) he told me that he has been stressed with many issues and things and i told him that i'll always be here for him, i always call him baby and i always let him know how i feel but when ever i give him a kiss through text or talk about the future he just says "ok cool" and then asks another question about something completely different...I asked him if i did something wrong and he said no, that everything was fine, and that nothing was wrong between me and him, but whenever i get online i see that he was there and that other people are giving him things (hearts and tags and comments) the site is tagged.com by the way, and when i give him those things he doesn't return them, but i just don't understand him at all, i know he is going through a lot and that he is stressed but what is going on? he's not making any effort to hide the fact that he is talking to other people and he even hid his friends because they were talking about me...well actually it was one particular person and according to him that person says i am always signed in and i always look at that person's profile, (who my guy has labeled him as the crazy guy) and i admitted to looking at the profile because i was afraid that i was going to lose him because things have changed and the things that particular person said still bother me...He told me not to worry because the "crazy" guy is just jealous that he didn't want to be in a relationship him...he also said that the "crazy" guy is trying really hard to break us up...here's the thing, my guy then block his friends so no one can see then and then he switched his relationship status from single to it's complicated and he did that right after i signed off, before that though, he asked if i was going to be home from school early and i said yes and asked why..he said no reason and that we should go to bed, and so before i did i looked at the crazy guys profile and i say his name say that "there is a me and you" and of course i knew it referred to my man, but im not sure...so i left and since had trouble sleeping i went back to send him a message telling him that i miss him, but then i say the status, basically i don't understand, why would he do all that? any advice and what do you think i should do? i messaged him that night demanding an answer and i am waiting for him to respond...help!
View related questions:
jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to add to this... sorry I'm late. Well two days after I told you guys this... Me and him broke it off. And I honestly have to say that sending that message was the best choice that I've made in my life! If I could go back and tell myself this, I would. I'm completely happy, no longer confused and heading off to college in a few weeks =]]. I want to thank you both for your help, it really did something for me, even though I didn't know it then. I honestly learned something from that disaster and I'm thankfully yo be able to look back and see where I was and what made me who I am today. =] Thaank yooouu *Hugs*
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): Hey, don't do these discussions over online messages. Talk to him in person over a coffee/snack at your nearby cafe. Make sure the guy is eating something, it helps the conversation. And then ask what's the meaning of this relationship status? Tell him you don't like it. If you are his gf, you have the right to ask him to show you as his gf.
Btw, never mind returning gifts etc. I have so many male friends, who can't even remember b'days of their family members.
Wish you happiness.
...............................
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I'm sorry that you're in this situation and I hate to say it but nothing good ever seems to come from online websites, especially ones like that, dating websites and even Facebook.
If you have been dating this man for 6 months and his status has been single, alarm bells should have already been ringing. I know that sounds silly because it is only a status on a website, but by having a single status who knows what kind of attention he is drawing to himself from other people who just don't know his situation with you.
Usually I would suggest that any changes to an online status should be ignored and just forgotten about as many websites are very childish and not worth your while. But lately it has become a large trend to tell the world every single intimate detail of your life through such websites and the only reason people seem to do anything anymore (including changing status) is to gain attention.
If this man is your man, then a simple thing like changing his status to "its complicated" suggests to me that he might be trying to string you along here and it doesn't, i'm afraid to say, look good.
If you feel as though something is off here, then you're probably right. People who care about one another just don't lead them up the garden path and they most certainly don't tell the world that their relationship status is complicated if there really is nothing bothering them or on their mind. This is a clear message to someone else and he is probably struggling to figure this out himself.
I think that you've done right by emailing him and asking him about the situation, but I would be careful not to blow this out of all proportion until you have any real hard facts to go on.
If you're this confused after 6 months, it doesn't look like he's really ready for a committed relationship with you.
It is a damn shame that these websites make it so easy to jump around and around in circles trying to figure these things out. Situations like these need to happen in the real world, where you have something solid to cling to.
I wish you all the luck in the world talking to this man, but I really think you should be prepared for the worst.
xx
...............................
|
