A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello please help. I met this guy (22) at a bar about 3 weeks ago. I kinda knew him b4 but only through friends of friends and we never really spoke before. He asked for my number and we were talking and texting. He asked me when he could take me out and we went out for a few drinks and cinema. I ended up staying at his, nothing happend...i slept in his shorts and t-shirt and we only kissed. We were still talking and texting for about a week and i was going to holiday in 3 days time. He text me asked me if he could see me b4 i went so i said yes. I went to his the night before i went away and we watched a film and again i stayed at his, we kissed and he fingered me. In the morning he had to go to work so stayed at his and slept 4 a while then got a mate 2 pick me up. He txt me staright away when he left saying -'had a really nice time with you y-day, cant believe you'll be away for a week, i wanna see you now xx' all day he was saying things like this and saying that he definately wants to see me when i get back to take me out for dinner and that. i got back back from holiday y-day and txt him asking how he was and saying i was back but got no reply......so i txt him 2day saying-'have you changed your mind about wanting to talk to me??' and he replied by saying ' i dont mind talking to you but i dnt want it t go any futher cause thats not what i want at the moment, sorry if i gave you the wrong impression'............I AM SO CONFUSED AS TO WHY HE TXT ME THAT??????! so i just said 'ok, thanks for letting me know. take care x' coz i didnt want him to think i cared. he didnt txt back to that.....can any1 tell me why he said that and changed his mind all of a sudden????????/thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Theres nothing wrong with 'looking stupid' to someone who you might never talk to again. You don't need to sound desperate.
Just call him up fo a chat and ask whats what.
But if you comfortable for not doing that, then thats cool as well. As long as your happy =]=]=]
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you every1 for their help! I will never contact him again as i dnt wanna look stupid! To answer some1s question he never tried to have sex with me....maybe he didnt fancy me haha. Who knows! Thanks again!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): Nice one!
"F**k him, move on, and find someone who is into you."
CoventGardenGirl - Surely your first and third suggestions are one and the same thing?
Sorry - my warped sense of humour!
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 July 2008):
I feel so sorry for you! I know how you feel. I once had a bf who was all over me like a rash...he was making plans for our future and acted like he was really really really intersted in me. Then one week I got sick, so I didnt see him much that week due to my cold. Then he didnt reply to a text message...so I sent another one asking whats going on, and then he told me he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore. I was like what?!?!?! So confusing.
Like my ex bf, this guy you were with lead you on completely and within a very short time period they changed there mind.
I get a feeling with your guy maybe he wanted more, like sex. Did he try to have sex with you or suggest it at all but you said no/made him back off?
There is a possibility he met someone else while you were away which is what I think happened with my ex as he went to lots of parties while I was sick without me.
He may of only wanted something casual and during the time you were away, he realised that you wanted more. So he did what someone with no guts or integrity does and ignores you hoping you get the hint, and then when you dont, he tells you through a text.
Either way, I think hes a total jerk to stuff you around like that.
I woudlnt contact him again if I was you, you deserve more then someone who would mess you around like that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): It could be any of the above. The best advice is what "smiles" says. It is best to move on because it's not going to happen for you. He probably has somebody else, I'm sorry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): We can only speculate, just the same as you. If I were you I'd be scratching my head too. How about:
1. He's already attached and she found out.
2. He found someone else while you were away.
3. Maybe he wanted sex but all he got was a kiss and a bit of fingering
4. He's a dickhead.
5. He's just discovered he's a homosexual.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Possibly not in the same situation, but I've hated going on holiday for the simple reason that you miss things. As in, events happened, people change how they think or feel about someone. When I went away my best mate decided she hated me which was a bit bizzare?! =SBut then again thats women...Now I'm being sexist...Helping you!- Again he might've just changed his mind about something. Maybe something happened who knows what hes thinking. You could call him up and ask him but you'll probably get the same response. As in, 'Sorry I gave you the wrong impression.'You could do one of two things. You could either call him up or go round there, and ask why. If he asks that say but you sent these texts and that. You probably won't get a answer. Or you could ignore it and move on. Not clinging onto it because he really might've just got over it.Again I can't guess what he's thinking. I hate giving people bad news, and what I tend to recommend is talking to people about it so you don't assume. But I can't guarantee you'll get anything out of it.Keep us posted, sorry I couldn't be of more help, and read other peoples comments.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Vow, no I cannot tell you why he changed his mind; but I can tell you what I suspect;
He had time to think whilst you were away; maybe he is not ready to get to closely involved; maybe he wants to take things a little slower; maybe he meet somebody else; or he wants to play the field;
BUT
you have to accept he is just not that "into" you at this stage
Don't nag, or contact him; wait for a few days; if you don't hear from him; SORRY, then don't waste time; MOVE ON.
Good luck and best wishes
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