A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been speaking to a guy for quite some time and we finally went on our first date. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship and he said he isn't as well but said that he would like a companion and that if a relationship happens, it happens. He kept saying that it was lovely to see me, very flirty, mirroring my body language, compliments, asking about me/my family, spoke of his and showing genuine interest. He took me out for dinner and then he dropped me home and we relaxed by my pool for quite some time cuddling. Although he began to speak about how he wants to meet my parents, that he has a few weeks of break in the next few months and wants to know if I could join him on a holiday. He told me that he would like to do something for my birthday(which is soon). He knows about my family and I do of his. He tells me he wants to meet them etc.After he left, he messaged me saying that he really enjoyed himself and thanked me. He constantly invites me out for dinners after his work. He messages me saying he misses me, wants to spend time with me and other types of flirting and usually with my replies I keep it platonic(not romantic but sexual), I generally don't say I miss him back etc. However, I've noticed he's taking longer to reply to me, from 10 minutes longer to an hour or two (which I do not have an issue with) but the mixed signals is confusing me because if this guy is really only looking for fun, I can accept that however when he shows signs of romantic interest, I think to myself "Maybe we could try for a relationship if this works.."He took me out for dinner and the movies and I gave him head and he said during the head "this going to make me fall for you" and then when he left he messaged me and everything was normal. I'm currently away on holidays for 2 weeks which he knows and has said to send him photos, that he wishes he was here with me etc. We were texting longer than a week ago and then he suddenly stopped and I hadn't heard from him in days then I decided to text him telling him that we should go seperate ways as our motives are different. He replied saying "what do you mean? I'm in hospital right now" then asked the reasons why. I replied and I haven't heard anything more. That was two weeks ago.
View related questions:
flirt, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2016): You led him on, you let him say an do things with you, like you were a couple, the guy has a heart, you used him, for only for your pleasure, then you was so selfish, he was in the hospital, hey carma,s a bitch, some guy, will do this to you, some day, an then you will wonder, why, what goes around, comes around, yes you told him, at the beginning, but like I said you led him on, men do this to women also, I feel sorry for him, you didn't, that's being cold hearted, an now he probably, is thinking about you all the time, pour guy
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (7 February 2016):
 From the back story you've provided in your post, it sounds like he was probably hoping all along for more than just casual sex with you.
When you said you weren't looking for a relationship, he had two options: tell you that he did in fact want one, and ruin his chances with you from the very beginning; or play it cool, like he wasn't really looking for one either, and then hope he'd be able to change your mind. Which it sounds like he tried his damnedest to do - complimenting you, cuddling with you, asking after your family, inviting you on a trip. In all honesty I don't see a lot of "mixed signals" here; it's pretty evident that he was interested in you.
There's no real need for me to defend the guy as you seem to have written him off, but being in the hospital is a pretty valid explanation for a few days of random silence and I'd argue that his silence about it probably ties BACK to the part where you told him you weren't looking for anything serious. It would be normal and expected to share (general) health information with a committed partner, but potentially weird and awkward to foist that information on a f**k buddy, someone who has effectively said they don't want any deeper involvement with you than no-strings sex acts.
I'm guessing that when you replied to the news he was hospitalized with a list of reasons for going separate ways rather than an "Oh my God! What happened? Are you OK?" (or something along those lines), he realized you really don't care about him the way he does/did about you, and that it was probably better to let you go than to try and keep up the "casual only" charade from a hospital bed.
Please note that it is NOT your fault that he got his feelings hurt, though, as you were upfront about not wanting a relationship from the beginning. That's really all you can do, and it's his bad for not being honest about wanting more if that's what he really wanted.
Good luck and best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 February 2016):
 You told him you want to go separate ways. Which, made him decide that you were NOT at all emotionally invested in him and not what HE is looking for.
Everything he has said to you, would lead ME to believe he wasn't looking for casual or a friend. And I think he had an AHA! moment when you "dumped" him and didn't react to him being in the hospital.
My advice? Leave him be.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2016): You said you wanted to go your separate ways. So, he took you up on it.
He told you he was in the hospital. You didn't think to [call] to find out why he was in the hospital and how long? You didn't think to possibly pay him a visit at the hospital?
You told him you both have different motives. Perhaps you're right.
...............................
|
