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Why did he not tell me?

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Question - (23 April 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2013)
A female Nigeria age 30-35, *oyie writes:

My bf and i started dating newly,recently there was a social school programme for campus students so i told him i would go with my galfriends and i asked him if he would go,he said he wasnt sure but he might...i called him after the programme and he told me he went,i was amazed cos he didnt call me so we could see though i didnt ask him why...so i want to know why he didnt call me since we both went for the programme pls,thanks.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (23 April 2013):

Ciar agony auntHe wasn't sure whether he was going by the time you and your girlfriends had made your plans, he didn't want to keep you all hanging about awaiting his decision and when he did go he probably didn't want to intrude upon girl time.

I don't see this as being an issue. No red flags here, no areas of concern. I wouldn't even bother asking him about it, but if you do, keep it light and simple.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou told him you were going with your girlfriends.. maybe he did not want to intrude on girl time?

ask him why he didn't call you... don't make things up in your head...

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 April 2013):

CindyCares agony auntAsk him, this is one of those cases were mind reading won't help. If you were " amazed " ,i.e. if you found it very strange and disturbing, why did you not bring it up with him, rather than let it slide ?

Anyway, personally I don't think it's so terrible, probbaly he was not sure he'd go and decided last minute, then , knowing that you were going with your friends, understandably he did not want to be stuck with a gaggle of all girls, nor ask you to ditch your pals to go with him. Or, he is one that does not mind occasionally doing things on his own and thought you'd be the same , also considering you already had company.

If you think that he SHOULD have told you, and that as bf and gf you should show up together to ALL social occasions, then bring this up with him. Not pointing fingers or making drama, just tell him, you know, I am surprised, I told you I was going to that event, so I thought that it was sort of implied that if you were going too , you'd have called me, any particular reason why you did not ? was I wrong in thinking you'd call me ?

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