A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. As a couple I would like to do things with him. He doesn't even have to spend money. For example I would like to take walks on the beach, camping even a drive thru at McDonalds would do. But we never go out when we both get home from work all he wants to do is stay in. When he first was courting me he used to take me to these wonderful restaurants and talk about travel and how beautiful I was. Recently, a conversation about our exes got brought up. He had confessed that the ex before me he used to spoil. They had only dated for 4 months. Apparently they went off every weekend, partied and went to different countries for weeks at a time. Hearing this I was hurt. We never go out and the rare occasion we do he doesn't even drink around me and we end up leaving early. When I confronted him on why he doesn't do the same with me he told me he didn't like going off anymore and that he was always exhausted from work. I felt like he wasn't hiding me; his friends, family, and acquaintances knew he was dating me. After a few weeks I called it quits I couldn't be confined in a house anymore. Then through mutual friends I had heard he was going out again. I'm just very confused on what I did to make him feel like we couldn't go out as a couple.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 July 2015):
 One detail comes to my mind. I.E.... did you put out for him?
If "yes," then you've learned the danger of doing so with a guy who believes that that is all there is to a "relationship."
If "no," then you've found a guy who seems not to be much interested in you.... except as you might be his arm-candy for the occasional time that he needs that....
Neither is ideal....
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2015): You dumped him, and to get back at you for it; he's doing exactly what you wanted him to do.
COMPLETELY AFTER THE FACT!!! The point is, he didn't want to do those things with you!!!! Let it piss you off; so you'll get over him that much faster!
He's history now. If he didn't do it when it mattered, what do you care? He's making it a point to get that information back to you. Don't be silly, girlfriend! The performance is purely for your benefit. He's being spiteful!
Flush him and his nonsense down the toilet, and never look back!
Take yourself on adventures, travel, and do all those things you wanted to do yourself. Sometimes we have to appreciate our own independence; and not wait around for others to provide us happiness. Happiness is yours to pursue for yourself, not to wait around for somebody else to dole it out or hand it to you!
By the way, ask your meddling friends to stop giving you freaking updates on his bullsh*t and block him from your all your feeds on social media. Give him total blackout and no contact.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2015): Go honeypie go honeypie .. I loved her last comment sucks to be him .. and you know what it does .If he can't appreciate you by showing you off and doing things with you . Then you made the right choice .. go out... be merry and see what tomorrow brings .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2015): Its becauase he was trying to impress you to start with. My ex was the same. Within six months we had resorted to staying in watching tv and walking the dog. I used to take it personally but over time realised its not what I needed or wanted so I left him. I was very hurt at the time and cried for a week. Why didn't he want to do things with me? Wasn't I worth it? Now I realize it is just how he is. He started off all keen to impress me but it wasn't the "real" him. He works hard and wants to stay at home relaxing. I feel at peace knowing we are simply incompatible. In time you will see this too. Please stand up dust yourself off and get out there girl!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 July 2015):
 He is your ex, right?
So who cares WHAT EXCUSE he might have used to not go out and do things with you, fact ARE that he didn't.
Time for you to GO out with friends, family and DO things you want to do, and things you want to see. NEVER sit around and wait for a partner or Bf to "take" you anywhere. YOU want to go somewhere? then GO, if he doesn't want to come? Sucks to be him!
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