A
female
age
30-35,
*elleeashton
writes:dear cupid, i could really use your help. In my junior year of high school i had a class with and worked with robert. we got really close and all through my junior and senior year (his senior and first year of college). we knew each other before that but we weren't close. he always made jokes like when are we gonna get married and i knew his best friend very well and he had it bad for me. i just didn't see him that way. and he didn't know i knew he wanted to be with me. so we were just friends. until one day we were at a party together and he looked at me and smiled. i'll never forget it. to this day i remember that smile. maybe it was the moonlight i don't know. but i fell in love right then and there. i knew. i don't know what happened but something clicked. anyways he was my best friend and i told him everything. so i told him i wanted to be more than friends. he confessed his secret crush for me. (i left out that i already knew). he told me "if our relationship is meant to go somewhere it will." so then i found out about two weeks into us talking that he was head over heels for another girl. i remembered him talking about her. i was crushed. i started balling. but he didn't know. he said he didn't know what he wanted but asked if i would wait until he did. of course i waited. for three and a half months. it tore me to little pieces and back. i told him the night before my sinus surgery that i couldn't do this anymore. it hurt too bad. he started almost crying. he begged me not too. he said he wanted to be with me now. and we could be together. and he wanted me not her. and begged and pleaded. i said i didn't know. then a few hours later(after sitting on the beach for a while) i said yes. of course. he was in another state and was for three more weeks. it was great over the phone. we talked constantly and it was amazing. it hit the fan when he got home. i didn't even see him until three days after he got home. and after that we saw each other once a week maybe. we only lasted two months. he left me for really no reason. i still don't know why. he sent me a text saying "baby i really care about you and don't want to hurt you but i think we need some time apart to figure out if we can handle all this" thats it. didn't talk to him for weeks. that was three months ago. (feels like longer though) since that i have dated a guy for three weeks. and we broke up. robert doesn't know i don't think. now robert and i will text every two to three weeks. maybe fifteen texts between the two of us. and thats it. and last time he said "it was good talkin to you." how do we go from best friends who are ridiculously close to dating to it was nice talking to you? i never let him know i want him back. because i only want him to be happy. the girl he is stuck on only toys with him and will never actually date him. she breaks his heart. if she would make him happy i promise i would send her flowers. i just don't want him to hurt anymore. so when he texts me i text back and don't text anymore than that. he knows i care for him and never wanted to break up but he thinks i am well over it. but im not. and we started saying i love you after we broke up? i never got that. i love him more than anything in this world. and not just for boyfriend girlfriend. but for the robert that used to throw me over his head and talk to me for four and five hours at a time and love every second of it. the one i could talk to about anything. my best friend. and at one point my amazing boyfriend. thats who i miss. and i only want him to be happy. but i miss him so bad. and its not just that. he confuses me so much. why does he still text me if he knows our exact conversation already? hi how are you hows school hows the family bye. the same thing. every time. why does he even say it? why do we even talk? or text. what does he mean by it? can someone help me make sense of this whole situation? im 18 and in college. its my first year. and i have been stuck on him since my senior year of high school. we dated over summer. i love him so much. i would sacrifice my happiness for his. so why does he still talk to me? why did he beg me to stay if he was going to leave me to wait for her. oh and he introduced me to his family and friends and talked about me constantly. his friends even texted me happy birthday because everybody knew it was my birthday. he bragged and bragged. he was crazy about me. what happened to my best friend? i miss him. please help.
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female
reader, hmm_girl  +, writes (25 November 2008):
oh my god. I read this and cried, not because its upsetting although it is but because I am going through the same thing at the minute and my guys name is Robert too and he is my best friend since college who I knew had a crush on me but pretended I didn't know!! I don't really know what to say to help, I am in a similar situation although we are at the point where we are still together but for how long I dont know... it upsets me I cant help him although he says I already do... if you ever figure it out please let me know, I don't want to lose him because he is so special to me and I know I make him happy but can't seem to be enough. If I knew he was going to be happy with the girl he is "in love" with then I would tell him because he is my best friend before anything else but I don't think he will be because she is just playing with his mind. She tells him she loves him and wants to be with him but can't because she is at Uni and cant see him as often as she likes. If I was in her situation I wouldn't care if I was halfway across the universe I would still give my all to him and he knows it or if I really couldn't bare not seeing him then I would tell him I didn't love him and don't want to be with him or be friends with him just to give him closure and help him get over me so he can be happy with someone else. I would sacrifice my happiness of knowing he loves me more than anything just to make him happy but she doesn't give him that. he is still stuck on her and theres nothing I can do about it!
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