A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years, the longest I've ever had. But we break up and get back together all the time. I'm tired of that because if he wants to be together why can't we just stay together? another problem that I have is about a year ago he cheated on me... he kist a girl at his work (he swears up and down there was no tongue that it was just a lousy kiss and we fought that day and sorta broke up but sorta not...) and it turned into a big thing then he went to prom with her after all that happened. I was so very upset. Now he says he regrets it ever happened and he said that before as well, but now i have a hard time trusting him because im afraid somthing like that will happen again. I NEVER used to be a jealous person until that happend. Ive tried forgetting and forgiving because i know thats what your supposed to do to get over it but iv tried many times and i cant help thinking about it and getting pist! The girl quit so she dont work there anymore but it still gets to me wen he goes to work or wont answer my calls or texts. Lately weve bn fiting ALOT! its just one thing after another. i try not to fite with him but something always happens. I dont want to lose him but idk wat to do anymore. I get angry so much easier now and he has a bad temper, he scares me when hes angry. Im lost and need some guidence. I want to learn to let go of my past and his mistakes. I dont want to be jealous anymore because its ruining our relationship and i wish the same for him. his ex before me cheated on him after she moved a town away, and idk if hes punishing me for wat she did or is guilty for wat hes done, but i cant talk to his guy friends without there being sumthing between us. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, hes the love of my life, its just sumtimes im not sure if were really meant for each other. O but others hes the sweetest guy any1 culd ask for. I just want the sweet one all the time! i know i kind of went back and forth so im srry if this is a little confusing, but my brains a little confusing rite now. If anyone culd Please please help me, i would be very greatful! thank you!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 November 2008):
 It does sound normal the on off romance. He doesnt trust you, you dont trust him. You are both young and still finding out what you really want. Too young to settle down so the bits inbetween can be difficult while you are really getting to know what you both want. I'm a bit concerned that you say he gets angry and it scares you thats something to be careful of in itself. The only way you are gonna get thru this is to both be sober and talk. Try to talk without arguing just by being honest and get it all out in the open. If you still can't handle the truth and get nowhere with the talking, it may be time to go walking. hope this helps.
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