A
female
age
30-35,
*shieebabiee
writes:why wont my ex wont realize all the stuff hes done to me really messed with my head and physical fitness?.... Ok well i been off and on with my ex and hes really always talked to girls behind my back didnt treat me right. Until i assumed i had enough n we went on a break cuz at that time he text saying another girl he loved her and so i met another guy thinking y should i wait for him to try when i been faithful and honest. Well he soon found out about that guy and i stopped talking to him the only thing we did was i gave him a peck on the lips that was it. My ex wanted to know, i told him than we got back together and more stuff happened he went out behind my back still talking to girls and all. I knew i had to realize he never will stop and here now we are on a break and he really messed with my head. I told him i cant believe himn at all for any thing... and i know he is talking to some one else and he brings up that guy i used to talk to when he dont realize all the suff he did as in dancing with girls talking dirty to them kissed them with tongue(probably more than one girl). He says hes trying to change i want him to learn and realize what he did was wrong to me but he doesnt seem to get that thgrough his head. He knows how to get to me and it seems i have such a forgiving heart im always forgiving him times i feel weak sometimes i feel strong. I feel like in trhat song by alicia keys-fallin because thats how i am. Any ways everytime i think hes learned and realizes i know he dosent... he is my first love and first everything else if that helps and also when we are alone he acts like a good bf. When hes negative towards me i seem to be like i cant do this than when he is positive im happy ...ugh idk what to do any more why cant he realize hes done a lot of hurt to me and i only done one mistake and all?
View related questions:
a break, got back together, my ex, talking to girls, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ashieebabiee +, writes (20 December 2010):
ashieebabiee is verified as being by the original poster of the question okay i know i am a fool but this time im serious but how should i tell him we are done i tried telling him we are done but hr just keeps comming around and his friend told me he says he wants to leave me but he needs to find a reason but he cant so how should i break up with him because i know hell end up showing up to my house do i do it in person what should i even tell him i want to be strong i dont wanna be weak any more?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): The guy aint gonna stop because you're staying around and taken it.You must like it or else you'd put an end to it.woman up like deja vu did.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): ~DEJA VU WITH SMILES~
I went through your stage...
I still harbor some hurt, pain and anger...
However...I demanded that my ex stay out of my life which is has ended up making me feel so much better, because I can honest to God say I'm smiling again without having to force and pretend it...
I really didn't want my ex out of my life when I put my foot down and made the decision because I've never been one to harbor a grudge...
HOWEVER...
The longer my ex is out of the picture the less frequent I think of my ex...the less hurt, pained and angered I am...the less drama, games, and compulsive lying I have childishly thrown into my life, the more frequent I smile...the more blessed I feel...and the more open and accepting I am of entertaining the romantic interests of others...
As a matter of fact...I'm considering bringing in the New Year abroad with a very dear friend who has stood by me threw all of this as she invited me last night.
It is a toiling process Sweetie, but I promise you it will be well worth it to simply let it go because it is a complete and unnecessary waste of your time...and all he can do is take away from your life...NOT!
So please...dismiss that toxin from your life. He is viral and his poison will only multiply.
Unfortunately dysfunction will tend to make the abusee blind to how putrid the abuser is and so interfere with the abusee's ability to notice first class, first grade, first rate quality romantic interests.
Consider this a lesson and blessing for the matters of the heart...not a misfortune...as the pure truth is You gain by his loss...
~YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPIE!~
Take care and God Bless Sweetie.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Why would he care about that at all? If I had a fool I could do anything to and she'd still take me back then I would find it hard to care too, and I'm a nice guy your guy isn't.
forgiving heart = love fool. No offence OP but you're total and utter love fool. Don't feel bad about that it happens to us all but in your case you take it to the extreme.
As I said before, you're basically his doormat, he doesn't care what you think or how much he's hurting you, you want to know why? Because he's not hurting you, you're hurting you. It's just too easy for this guy. He uses you and throws you away, tells you he's trying to change when he needs a warm hole to put his penis in and you believe him every time. Love fool you.
He doesn't have to change, he doesn't have to try, he doesn't have to care because you'll let him do what he wants to you, whenever he wants you to and when you start talking about love and how much he hurt you, he can bail on you until you shut up about it and open your legs again. Love fool.
Now while you're so focused on him realizing how much he hurts you, you don't actually see that he couldn't care less so what good is him realizing that. In fact unless he's mentally challenged then he already knows, he just doesn't give a fuck he just wants a fuck. Love fool.
"why wont my ex wont realize all the stuff hes done to me really messed with my head and physical fitness?" That's your fault, you let him. Simple as that.
You ever hear the phrase fool me once? Yeah you've let him fool you a million times. The first time was his fault all the rest is all down to you, your problem not his. So unless you get rid of this douche then stand up and take it like a woman, because he's never going to stop walking all over you, he's never going to change and you will never live happily ever after with him.
So unless you leave him then you really should stop complaining because you can change this but you don't want to. You don't cry like a little girl when a tap is leaking and there's a wrench under the sink complaining that it's broken, you grab that wrench and you tighten the faucet. You don't stand there complaining that the water is dripping or wishing it wasn't leaking or you wish you had a magic wand that would repair it for you. No, you roll your sleeves up and fix it.
So please realize that your complaints mean nothing, nothing at all, you might aswell bang your head against the wall because no matter how much you wish this asshole was Edward Cullen he never will be, and from the moment you realized you were being treated badly and didn't completely cut him out of your life everything from that point onwards is your fault, all this hurt you feel you did to yourself, because he couldn't if you wouldn't let him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): I'm sure he realises what he is doing. The reason he doesn't care (which is what it comes down to) is because he knows he can get away with it because you let him. If he knew you wouldn't stand for it he wouldn't treat you like that.
I mean putting myself in his shoes if I was dating someone who had no backbone and let me get away with everything I too would probably push the limits all the time. You end up losing respect for that person. So everytime you talk and complain about his cheating he knows it is all talk. He knows you aren't going to do anything about it. So he continues to date other girls and then can come back to you as well and leave and come back and so on and it will continue for as long as you allow it.
If you want him to "learn" then peace him out. Not just for a week or two, peace him out for good. Don't stand for this anymore. And that's that. Cheating is the most disrespectful thing a person can do to another. The fact that you even give him the chance to even speak to you again after his cheating shows him that you have no respect for yourself. So start acting like you respect yourself and don't talk to him anymore. And that's that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 You are expecting your ex to learn, when he isn't paying attention and honestly doesn't really care all that much. You will be waiting a long time for him to come around.
I know how much you want him to figure it out.
I suspect your friends are waiting for YOU to figure out that he's not worth your time and energy. I could write in their question here:
Why won't ashie figure out that she is waiting for a player and a selfish idiot to suddenly get a conscience and some feelings? When will she realize that a player like him doesn't have any empathy, he doesn't really care about anything but himself. And his penis.
Why does she fall for his lines? Why does she pay attention to his words and not his ACTIONS? By his actions alone, he shows that he is a manipulator. He plays all nice and sweet when he wants to get her into bed but the second he's out the door? He's looking for the next girl to talk to, to get on the hook.
She's so sweet and trusting and the problem is that this was her first love, and so she's having some problems letting go. She keeps spending time hoping he'll come around and look at her misery and feel for her. The thing is, he only ever feels for himself. The rest is trying to make her happy enough to keep her hanging on but he just isn't worth it.
---
I know it's hard to have been treated so badly. It's not fun and it's not nice. It's also not realistic to hope he'll come around and figure it out, I'm sorry to report. It stinks, but there it is. Sometimes things just aren't fair, and this is one of those cases.
I think your best course of action is to get your friends to help remove him from your heart. Give them the job of organizing a "Lose the Loser" party and see what they come up with.
Good luck to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Girl,
First dont you ever ever ever rely on a guy (or anyone else for that matter) to be good and at peace with yourself.
This dumb ass is clearly not for you. CUT HIM OUT NOW. Dont call it a break, call it a break up. Delete hs number, bb, facebook account and ask him to stay away. If he doesnt have your older bro, mum, dad give him a nice chat and keep him away from you.
From experience, dudes who call their girls cheaters while they are off doing God knows what (or who), are usually self loathing insecure little bastrds who will suck the happiness out of you and make you miserable to feel like they are men.
I know you are "inlove" and first love always hurts the most, but the sooner you cut him out, the sooner you will be better. There are millons of dudes out there, you dont need to be hooked on the ones that hurt you!
It will hurt alot and you will be tempted to get back to him, because it is in your mind the safe thng to do. But trust me on this one, just toughen up, and realize that you can live a happy healthy life withOUT him!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): leave him forever and do everything you can possibly do to make sure he can't locate you because he's going to realize he lost the best thing that ever happened to and he's going to go mad fatal like glen close. That guy is belongs in an insane asylum and you need to think about that. get the hell out now you're playing with a mentally deranged bunny boiler. run before it's to late.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Why are you with this guy, hes not worth the hassle or mind games....dump him simple as
...............................
|
