A
female
age
36-40,
*aiveada
writes:Ok i think i have serious issue. I can not make a relationship work with any one. This includes friends, guys who are interested in me, and even teachers. I was abandond when i was only nine months old and the family that took me in has shown me love and has provided for everything, yet while growing up my adopted fathers side of the family never let me forget that i was not of there blood. So i grew up pushing people away ans acting like words dont hurt me. when in reality i am hurting from past and present rejections and harsh words. I tend to say cruel things to push people away. All because i am sure they will hurt me and leave me. Im scared to let any man near me in fear that he will hurt me. I think i am scared that i will be malested like i was when i was six years old. I still cant forget it. So i ruin any relationship that i see can actually work. I am freightend that i will never have a healthy relationship with any one. i dont believe when any one tells me that they care for me. I am always expecting them to have double motives with me. Please some one help me understand why i do this? could it be that so much harm from others has made me stone cold to others. I dont want to be alone anymore but i dont want to suffer anymore as well. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, naiveada +, writes (2 December 2009):
naiveada is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you i will do just that.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 November 2009):
 Why are you asking this question? The answer is bloody obvious from your own post.
Distrust of other people resulting from abandonment and abuse issues. Time to see a shrink.
You perfectly explain why you do this. You are afraid of being hurt and so you push everyone away, it is textbook behavior and the textbook is very clear about the remedy, professional help by someone who can help identify your issues and then find ways of coping with them.
This is far to much to handle on a web forum especially by well meaning but non-trained volunteers.
Seek out support for child abuse survivors and for people who have been adopted. Especially the child abuse is hard if not impossible to deal with on your own. You cannot simply forget so it needs to be dealt with.
This ain't going to be a quick fix solution but you can't do it on your own and Dr Phil style advice ain't going to help either. Time to consult with the pro's.
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