A
female
age
,
*encat
writes:I have posted many questions to Dear Cupid regarding my current relationship (listed below) but now I am coming out of being anonymous as I think that maybe it is me who has the problem for staying with this man when I seem to be unhappy with so many things about him, yet I have tolerated it for over two years. I am a very successful business woman with lots going for me in my life,good nature,very giving, caring with many good friends, lovely family, and can meet men easily, but yet I seem to accept very little back from them and probably let them get away with much more than most women would.Questions were: 7 June: Found condoms in his case 12 June: Personal Hygiene 15 June: Should I insist on meeting friends/family22 June: It takes him ages to ejaculate28 June: Should he buy present for grandsons christen3 July: Caught out boyfriend who carried condomsSo you see there are quite a few issues here, so why cant I walk away from this man!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (4 July 2007):
I would think you stay because deep-down you are afraid that you won’t find someone better. I’m not going to be glib about this, like it’s tempting to be with a 20 year old in your position. I am older myself; I would be terrified if I had to leave my husband. It’s a much, much bigger leap of faith to walk away when you are older. The thing is, if he has consistently treated you less well than you deserve, and you have tried your best to be understanding and work at it, and still you are no happier – what are you supposed to do? I think that sometimes, when we are stuck in an unhappy relationship, we can’t see the wood for the trees. We can’t see that we really would be happier out of it, even if it meant being alone for a while. Being alone has its compensations, like more time with people who do value you, not feeling powerless to make things better anymore. Also the silly little things like getting your own choice with food, the TV, holidays, visiting family. The list is a very long one. It doesn’t mean that you will be alone forever. Maybe we can no longer just walk into a bar, the office, a party, whatever, and have men queuing up to ask us out. But there are men out there. Maybe, instead of just walking out right now, you could work at improving your life, social life, language skills – whatever you fancied doing and never got around to. You can build up your confidence and outside interests slowly, and then you might find that he has become an irrelevance to you. And if you still can’t bring yourself to leave, at least other aspects of your life will have improved, which must be a good thing.
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