A
female
age
41-50,
*anless123
writes:I am an attractive woman, independent, loyal and have a big heart. But for some reason I cannot keep a man. I have had several relationships and cannot seem to keep a man. I am good in bed, cook, take very good care of my children, keep a clean home but my relationships never work out. I'm not fat, and most people think I am in my early 20's. I am in the process of divorcing the man of my dreams because I left him (he was mistreating me) and abandoned me when I needed him most. I have looked at myself objectively, questioned my character and I don't know what the problem is. Sometime I feel that I am just unlucky in love. I am not the type to feel that I need a man, but I want someone to share my life with and everything I have to offer. This divorce, will leave me with 4 children and I don't want to be alone. I feel so lonely and I am tired of traveling this road alone. I can't figure out what is wrong with me. Why is it that some women have men that will do anything to be with them, but some cannot keep a man for anything. I don't cheat or lie and I am very loyal. I know that my 4 kids is not what most good men what. I am starting to feel that I am in a no win situation. I am not mean, I don't nag or complain but for some reason love never works for me. Someone please help me understand...
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 Judging from your post I can guess things that are going wrong.The first red flag is the "man of your dreams." It sounds like you have low self esteem if the man of your dreams is someone who mistreats you and abandons you. You need to stop thinking of him as the man of your dreams. Shouldn't the man of your dreams be someone who treats you well, and is there for you? Second, I think also goes along with the self esteem issues, you assume the problem is with you. Maybe it's not you, maybe you just tend to go for bad men?Third. You don't nag or complain. This might not look like an issue to you, but it does to me. No man wants a nag, that's true. But everybody has complaints, and sure you shouldn't complain all the time, but if something is wrong you need to say so. All in all it seems like you have self esteem issues. I think you need to work on loving yourself. Don't feel like you need a man to be loved, if you can love yourself, you'll have a better shot at finding a worthwhile man.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): If you want a man who loves and cherishes you, then you have to walk away from cheaters and mistreaters at the earliest signs of abuse instead of settling down and having multiple children with them. The women who end up with great guys have walked away from a lot of losers no matter how painful it was to do until they found a man who treated them well. Look back on your past involvements and ask yourself how much you put up with in order to not be alone. Chances are you were chasing passion, ignoring warning signs, and not looking at a man for his character.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): hi i am in the same situation maybe you are to nice to them i have figured out that the whole treat them mean keep them keen thing does work not be nasty to them jusst dont agree with everything they say or do good luck
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