A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why Can't I just like him?I knew this guy for four years. He 's pretty catchy--good looking (enough), REALLY intelligent, understands my cultural/religious values and embraces them and I embrace his views, shares other similar values (non-judgement, liberal, etc). I feel like we'd be such a GREAT much. On top of that I really respect him and I kno his attraction for me runs deeper than physical. In fact, I've often chosen guys over him and the last bit of mess became kind of icky and yet he overlooked it.Though I value him SO much...I just can't see us in a relationship and I'm afriad he's going to bring it up. BC of the friend that I did like (not knowing they were friends), I just don't know what to do if he does approach me and flirt again. He's going slow bc of the mess and I'm just confused...I value him so much but I just don't get here he stands...I really fell for his friend but 1) his friend isn't showing these signals though I think he cared (very immature) and 2) I don't think I could choose love over respect.Please help me understand what i'm feeling for him!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think its because when I met his friend, although his friend is super immature, I know how it was for a guy to lose control when in love (and also me). his friend really effed things up at the end to protect his image to show he was not whipped. While this guy is amazing, he's also very ''slick''. He never madea fool out of himself and I think a part of him likes the challenge. He plans on becoming a surgeon...and I guess it got to him that his charisma and ambitions didn't drive effect me. I don't think he'd have that loyalty of his friend either. Basically, his friend exposed me to true emotions only to leave me confused about them all. He stepped in and is polite and doing everything right...but I think the other guy's intentions were sincere...but that guy isn't even in contacting me so what do I know? Right?
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (8 September 2011):
 He sounds like the man of your dreams but you don't like him! You mention so many things that you like about him but none of what you don't like. Do you find him attractive enough to sleep with him? That's the most important. If he keeps distant from you because you don't see him as a bf matterial would you care? There must be at least one major thing about him that you don't like.Give us more clues please. Be honest.
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A
female
reader, pinkkitty23 +, writes (8 September 2011):
I kinda think I've been on the same boat. You know this guy who's everything you want no vices either!!! ..everything you should want anyways...My friend is like that he was crazy about me and I kept telling myself why can't I date him I even tried to force myself thinking it'd get better cause he was "ideal" and "perfect" but in the end I found that you can't make yourself fall in love with anyone no matter how much you wish they'd give you butterflies because they are everything you ever dreamed about.. if the chemistry isn't there then you won't be truly happy.. Best thing you could do if you want give it a shot maybe your feelings will change?Or at least you could reconfirm your feelings and move on.. My current guy was suppose to be casual fun..he has vices and he's not perfect but I ended up falling for him and accepting him and I'm happy :) Funny how love finds you when you least expect it you'll see ;)
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