A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I am still in love with my daughter's father even though went up and down in are relationship We broke up many times because of pass issues such as cheating it was on both of us but we always wind us be back together.Everybody has flaws there is not one perfect person.I just can't understand why we can't break ties and go our way.I moved away but my heart still loves him I can't see nothing pass this man but we just can't be together.What is wrong with this picture ??
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (29 December 2014):
You’ve answered your own question: you can’t break all ties because you have a daughter. You could, however, keep your distance, not contact or arrange to see each other. Why do you not break those unnecessary ties? You’ve answered your own question: it’s because you’re in love with him. It’s not that you can’t cut ties, you just choose not to. If your daughter is grown up, you need have no contact with him. Their relationship is their business. If she isn’t, you could easily tell him you will only correspond or speak with him regarding anything to do with her, and cut off or not reply if he tries to rekindle your relationship. You can agree not to see him in person. Unfortunately only you can make the choice to do that. I think you want this to be easy, you want some kind of light to switch on, to realise he’s no good and it be straightforward to cut ties. Affairs of the heart don’t work like that I’m afraid. You have to recognise that this will be hard, painful, and require a lot of self-discipline. If you can get your head around that, you can plan it and make it happen. I’m really not convinced that you actually want to, however, which is sad as you’re going to be locked in to something that obviously makes you unhappy much of the time, or you wouldn’t be asking how to break it off for good.
I wish you all the very best.
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