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Why can't I have the orgasms that my girlfriends all talk about?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hiya,

I have a problem. I am 30 years old and honestly I have never climaxed in my life. I have had boyfriends and have been sexually active for a while - I have faked it when my boyfriend has a good one. I have felt it coming and literally I choke it. What is wrong? How do I stop this? I want to feel the intense pleaseure all my girlfriends talk about.

My boyfriend feels that he is not doing something right but he is an excellent lover and I just want to please him and myself.

We are engaged and I want that to be his wedding gift: both of us climaxing together - tips - help!

View related questions: engaged, orgasm, wedding

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A female reader, StaceyB31 +, writes (13 November 2005):

Do you masturbate? I agree with the first answer. You need to learn to please yourself before you can expect your fiance too do so. Practice, practice, practice. I would sugest you buy a vibrator as most women can climax with one. Good Luck!

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A female reader, mommyofthree +, writes (12 November 2005):

mommyofthree agony auntWouldn't that be perfect to be able to say that you are most definitely going to orgasm on your wedding night, unfortunately it may not work out that way. For some people it is very hard to reach climax, others very easy. The easiest way to find out how to get you there is to practice by yourself. Chances are if you can't get yourself to orgasm it will be hard for some one else to do it for you. You need to find out that special combination of moves that does it for you then guide your partner to those places.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005):

I was 34 and in my second marriage before I knew how to acheive an orgasm, and that was by masturbation. It is rare that women are able to climax at the same moment and often need manual stimulation. Have you not heard Billy Connelly joking about it taking hours to get his wife to orgasm?

It is often patience, skill and a degree of maturity needed by the man controlling his ejaculation by keep staving off the moment by stopping. If you partner experiments doing this he will find it very rewarding as it makes his orgasm even more intense when he can finally let go. He has to work to you, not the other way round.

Also, I think our bodies are not designed so perfectly that every penis rubs the clitoris during sex. I know my currrent partner misses mine completely, so it is impossible for me to climax without him mastubating me at the same time.

Forget the wedding gift and focus on the foreplay, it was one of reasons I felt so insecure with my first partner as he made such a big issue of it and made me feel inadequate for years, when all the time we were young and inexperienced and believed too much of what he read in sexy magazines.

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