A
female
age
41-50,
*ephertite
writes:I feel like I am losing my sense of self. I usually have everything together.. but ever since I met him I'm not myself. I miss me and I want me back! I tried ending it with him(and we werent in a relationship so what I ended was just a thing.. an emotional thing that I want more out of. But he's a commitment phobe so thats out of the question).. I told him no texts and no calls and he agreed. But he calls me the next dsy and says he misses me.. the thing is I am such a softie when it comes to him. I keep going back.. why can't I be strong enough?He doesnt want a commitment so why on earth does he keep me around? Last night- tipsy on wine- he said he loved me a lot and kissed me and held me and I just kept quiet cuz I don't want to say anything when there was a high possibility that he wont remember it today, or he might act like he never even said or did anything. I guess there really is no solution for my problem except to man up and put my foot down and stay away! The emotional yoyo is really killing me..
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female
reader, Nephertite +, writes (3 July 2008):
Nephertite is verified as being by the original poster of the question "Men who cannot let go choose women who can't say no"- This is AMAZINGLY true in my case because I really can't say NO. I'm gonna have to practice saying no.. its tough but I have to do it. I am going to take it one step at a time I guess.. I'll see if he remembers anything he said to me last night and if he doesnt-I'm putting my foot down and moving on with my life by backing off. Thanks a lot guys... everything helped.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): He is just stringing you along really. It is possible that he won't commit to you simply because he knows how badly you want to and sometimes men just like the chase. Maybe if you made it more difficult for him to have you he would change his mind about it. That's just in theory.
In reality, however, I would just take his word for it and just avoid him. You need something different and he is not offering it to you. So you need to be the one to back off completely and move on. This isn't healthy and it doesn't even sound like you are happy. He has full control of this situation and that's bad. Stop giving him what he wants and start giving yourself what you need.
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Lol he probably does love you. nd when your not yourself around him thats cute because that means he helps make you a better person (Not saying your a bad person) But i think you should give him a shot based on terms and conditions. Lol tell him if he truely wants you then he needs to make a commitment. If not he needs to stop calling. I bet he'll make that commitment.
~Hope This Helps~
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