A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,i have been with my bf for a few years and we now live together. He no longer tells me he loves me, i know he does deep inside but he find it very hard to express himself. He find it's very hard to show any nice feeling towards me...but sex is great.Why cant he say he loves me or shoe his true feelings? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): Hi, I'm in the same situation, I have said so many times to my boyfriend I need to know how you feel, you need to say the words....he says he cant, its not how he is. After nearly 4 years I'm learning to accept this. I try and look at all the things he does for me.....they say 'actions speak louder than words' very true I guess. My ex-husband told me all the time, every day 'I love you'.....the worst thing was realising as he stood there saying it to me 'he was cheating on me'. Although my situation is hard, I'd rather have someone who only says it occasionally that I can trust completely with all of my heart than what I had before. Take good care and take some of the sound advice given. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): im in the same boat.
im not living with my bf yet but he finds it so difficult to say the 3 words i love you.
i have thought f*ck it, im not going to be with you any longer if you cant say you love me, you must not love me at all .
but then when he does say it, its special and i know he loves me.
at times and alot of the time i am down and think why did i get into a long distnace relationship.
but then again my bf comes from a family who never hug or cuddle or say i love you.
im from a family where we are al affectionate and all cuddle.
it must be hard for him and, hes had many relationshoips in the past and i feel im despairing as hes no longer got any trust and cant say he loves me as hes been hurt in the past before now.
i feel that he even values his mother more than me.
ive even said why dont we get a little house together - somehwre new.
but he wont. he has to live near his parents as theyr elderly and i feel sad.
i really want to start afresh with this man and live together somewhere - we can call home, thats near both parents.
but hes from a stubborn ass family and so cold.
so i cant win.
i keep kidding myself but i was in the bath last night and was thinking amongst things, shall i call it a day
maybe things will come to a head im not sure.
weve been dating 6 years now and iim not working as i was injured in a car crash and he is working.
he has the golden opportunity to work for a huge american computer company if he wishes but he wont apply for a job as itd mean leaving his mother and father.
always stems back to them,.
he should be concentrating on his partner. me!
im so angry and hurt and i should be seeing him tonight but im digging my heels in the ground and making out im ill.
i blame myself for being the 'p/t girlfriend who you can return at a weekend'
it all stemmed from when i was at uni.
i met him in a club and here we are 6 years on.
ive got depression so bad and am suicidal to.
i cant talk to him anymore as he doesnt really listen.\
well he will listen but its all brushed under the carpet.
other weekned i was sobbing my heart out and said i love him with all my heart and incinuated i want to be with him for ever. ultimately i want to be married to him
but you know ... pfffffffffft why did i bother
im an old fashioned girl at heart and maybe i shouldnt be posting here but i feel that its a weight off my shoulders and someone can share my story
i keep thinking 'if id have never gone to uni; id never have met him'
sounds f*kng awful to say that but im so heart broken that he never expresses his love anymore.
he used to do silly things like send flowers and buy me lil gifts and tell me i was pretty
other night i was dressed up really sexy and had high heels on and he watched a movie instead
im really tempted and can see why ppl have affairs
and as were not living together, i think well......he will never know if i had another relationship
i get more attention from other blokes and this upsets me.
as i want it from my man
hes so enveloped with work , his car and his parents that i feel like a sister more than a girlfriend.
i mean, i found out last weekend when i was round his, that one eveing when i was with a bad megraine ( i wasnt round his btw)
he was drunk when he told me...he went to this girl Gemma;s house to play on the computer.
yeah......you can imagine i went crazy a lil bit.
i know there was more to it than that.
he said her friends were there but that doesnt matter. i know that he has a soft spot for her.
shes blonde and pretty and fun.
i mean when hes been shagging me for 6 years i think hes bored.
hes got a job and he complains and he wont look for anything else.
he relies ion his mother to look for him
i think i have the 7 year itch coming up
yeah.
unless things change, i dont think i can carry this fraccas on any longer.
i looked in the mirror today and i do look very ill.
im not well and i dont need this.
i just want to be loved by someone who loves me for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): If he can't express emotion, because he isn't comfortable with it, you can tell him all you want that you wish he'd say I love you, he may say it once or twice, but he probably will stop at that & you're going to feel stupid if you keep nagging at him to say it. I'm in the same situation, and I tried telling him. It really doesn't work if that's just who they are. You know he loves you. He probably feels this is enough. My b.f.does.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Absolutly brilliany advice there from skye.
Try to do what she has said sweetie. I couldn't posibly add more to that sound advice!
Take care and good luck
x
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Sometimes when a couple move in together "life" takes over from romance. We get caught up in the humdrum of daily activities and are often tired or grumpy or thinking about the mountain of laundry sitting on the kitchen table!
You say that you know he loves you, well that is great and half the battle won. I know this sounds so obvious, but have you thought to tell him how it makes you feel when he forgets to say those magic little words? You would be surprised how many people dont communicate anymore and even a small issue can lead to resentment.
My advice would be to tell your guy how much you miss him telling you that he loves you. Ask him if he could try to remember. Keep romance alive too for it is very important. Go for walks or drives together in the countryside. Get a takeaway and snuggle on the sofa with a DVD. Book a table in a nice restaurant once in a while or even eat chips by the peir where you had your first kiss; whatever is special to you both as a couple is whats important.
Leave him a nice little present somewhere he will find it before he goes to work with a note telling him how much you love him. It doesnt have to be much....a bar of his favourite chocolate will do. The important thing is he will think about you all day and this simple act of affection will make him feel good. Hopefully he will reciprocate soon.
Talk to him and tell him what you miss most, I bet he misses the same things and will be willing to try to recapture them.
Best wishes,
Skye
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): Because he wasn't brough up with a family who told them they love him. He is just not used to saying that or showing those feelings. Don't expect to change him either.
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