A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I posted this dilemma yesterday, but only got one response and was hoping for more, so I will post again. I'm from Romania, but I am living in Britain while I am at University. I have tried internet dating as I was lonely in the UK and have met several guys, but now I have a problem. I feel really confused. I have been dating a really nice guy for about a month. We have had a great time, he has always been a gentleman and he didn't seem to want to just get me into bed like a lot of guys I met. He never even kissed me or tried to.He took me out for dinner, took me out for picnics and walks, but never tried anything on with me. I wanted something to happen last week, as I think that I have fallen for him, but before I told him, he said that he just wanted to be friends. He is 33 and I am 24 and he said that he felt that there was a bit of an age difference between us and that he really wanted me to be his friend. He said that I was beautiful and one of the most amazing women he had ever met, but that he was looking to meet someone to settle down with in the next couple of years and maybe have children with. I certainly don't want that just yet, as I am doing a PHD. I feel that he has led me on a little bit, but he said that he was just getting to know me. I really would like to be with this man as he seems really sweet and nice, but he in adamant he just wants to be friends.Why can't he just be with me for now and see how things go? Should I no longer be friends with him? Has he led me on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): Hun, the man has has dated you for one month and he has not even kissed you? He says you are beautiful and an amazing woman but .... he's not making any moves to go to the next level (intimacy), he's clearly states he wants to be just friends, he is concerned about the age difference and he wants a woman who wants children, like him. I will say, if he were really into you, one would think he couldn't keep his hands off you. When men like a woman like a lot, they at the least, kiss you..and they do display some form of physical affection. Dear, take what is happening and draw the conclusion that the man likes you a lot, but 'only' as a friend. If he was falling for you, then he would be taking this into the romantic realm..because he wouldn't be able to help himself. If he has to pause and say to himself, "No I just want to be friends with her because I'm too old for her, she doesn't want kids...blah, blah" then he's finding excuses not to have a love relationship with you. Get out and date other guys and tell him that. He's being overly cautious-maybe he's been hurt before, maybe he's not assertive. Be friends with him by all means...but tell him as a "friend', you are going to get on with life, I know you like him but he's confusing you. Best thing for you to do: Stop wasting time and move on and start dating other guys.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): yeah sure sounds like he was leading you on. one thing i dont get is most men will kiss a girl they are intrested in. at his age hes ready to settle down start a family maybe it took him this long to figure out that youre not ready for that, he coulda just assumed you were as most woman mature before men do.
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