A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:On one hand I csn name five girls that are attracted to me. They flirt, call me over to talk, want to know how my day was, etc. These girls are usually the girls I have no attraction to. I don't know if it's how calm and collected I am around them that makes them like me but I do know it's something I'm doing right with them that I'm doing wrong with the other five examples.On this other hand I can name five girls that I AM attracted to. These are the girls that I actually do make an effort to talk to. These are the girls that I find attractive in almost everyway. They smell good, laugh cute, etc. They hold my attention like no other. But these are also the kind of girls that show little to no interest in me.Why is it that I'm always being mismatched like this? What is it that I'm doing with the first five girls that I'm missing with the last five? With the first five, I feel no attraction so I can usually be myself. I feel no kind of obligation to impress them. With the last five I find myself trying to get them to notice me by flirting with them, complimenting them, etc. No, I am not trying to get all five girls in the last example. What I'm really asking is why can't I find someone who I'm attracted to as much as they're attracted to me? Has anyone entered a relationship not being fully attracted to the other person? How did it go?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 September 2012):
 So making an effort to know them means you are not being yourself, and being yourself means you don't give a damn? Maybe all the girls and you are mismatches. Without saying anything, your body can pick up tons of things, faster than your brain can process. Attraction is more than just looks and smell. The trick of the mind is to think that pursuers are lower than us, and the object of our pursuit is all good and out of reach. Try not to discount people who are not stunningly beautiful and not put super attractive people on a pedestal.
You can get a girl by reversing your actions towards the two different groups of girls. But the point is not to just get a girl right? You want to be happy with that person too.
I don't know why, I get the impression you are still in school. Like, where do you just find 10 women at the same time? Or maybe I am just a loner. As you get older, you will find fewer and fewer beautiful women and you will be happy with a 7 compared to before only a 10 would do, because there had been so many to pick from.
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