A
female
age
41-50,
*accy3
writes:Why can I not express interest in the guys that I actually like?I'm a fairly confident woman. I have lots of male friends. I'm a flirt and pretty easy to get on with - except with one type of guy. The ones I fall for. Tonight I have made 3 dates with men I barely know or have little attraction to - while there is one who I am crazy about sitting pretty much down the road, alone, who I would kill to date, but who has no idea I'm interested. And the idea of telling him TERRIFIES me. Whenever he's around the only thing I can think of is - don't let him think I'm interested. And I'm really nuts about him. I can't stop thinking about him. I don't think he's interested in me. But I don't know for certain - and the 1% doubt isn't leaving me any room for anyone else. But the idea of being rejected and humiliated in front of mates, just makes scares the hell out of me. What do I do? Help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2014): Tell him you have a problem and ask him if he would help you with it - over a coffee. That way you get to know him a little better without putting yourself out there. There's nothing wrong with being just friends and hanging out as friends and it might make you a little more relaxed around him. As for whether you tell him your dilemma over coffee or make up another, that's up to you, but in the mean time you're spending time with him without any pressure on either of you to be anything else...
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (21 February 2014):
Well you obviously have a fear of rejection. The easy solution is to face your fears.
Ask him out, if he says yes, great! If he says no, even better because you'll realize it doesn't hurt. Besides, you already think he's not interested in you, so if he says no it'll just be confirming what you already believe.
A wise man once said that you should never reject yourself, that's someone else's job.
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