A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This may not sound like a serious problem but it's beginning to be annoying...My boyfriend only seems to get erect once he has given me oral. This is the first guy I have ever allowed to do this. I am attractive, in shape and the sex is great. We usually fool around for a bit before getting started so it's not an issue of going too fast. Once we are having sex sometimes he looses his erection and has to go back down again. i'm sure most women would love this but seeing as this is my first experience late in my life (i am in my mid 30's with only 2 partners before him)I dont feel I need to have him do that. I prefer the sex actually. I would like to especially hear from guys as to why he can only get erect doing this. As a side note we have sex 6 times a week.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses but I am still frustrated with my boyfriend on this topic. After foreplay I want him to get to the intercourse but he just keeps prolonging the actual sex. I become bored and frustrated and have to always ask him or initiate the actual sex. Many women may disagree with me and prob think i'm not being appreciative but really either he's not doing it right most of the time or it's just not my thing. Only 1-10 times do I O from it, whereas with sex it takes mea couple min's for multiples. What can I do or say that won't hurt his feelings? He is only erect when doing this or with a bj but gets sad when I wave him off
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): It was prob. something that he was used to with an ex. Most guys tend to try and "overly" pleasure the girl when they were not getting enough foreplay with a previous partner. It makes sense really...They did not get enough to get it up in there old relationship, so they create there own foreplay by pleasing the girl.
Now he thinks that this is normal sex patterns.
If this is not what your into, then why don't you try and be proactive. Next time he is about to give you oral, tell him that you are going to take care of him tonight, and give him oral. Or, just surprise him instead. Try and find other, creative ways to get him erect.
If none of that works, then gently tell him that you are not totally into receiving oral so much,and see how he takes it.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 I can partially relate to this; During sex there is sometimes a period of time when the female response wanes slightly...that can cause a lose of erection since men love having each and every move responded to. Oral sex usually provides that close interaction where each move is accompanied by an "ooh" or an "ahh" or some body movement that signifys pleasure whereas during coital sex the responses are much more subtle if at all. that's my best guess. No problem just normal!
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