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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Why are we women naturally jealous?Men are naturally visual, so they naturally have a "wandering eye". Why do we have to be jealous then? I'm not saying "all women" or "all men", but most. I know I get jealous as much as I rationally know this fact about men, and so do a lot of women. It's unfair. We shouldn't be jealous. It feels like a lost battle. If men are naturally going to look at lots of women, then I want to naturally be accepting of it instead of jealous, lol.So why does this happen? I swear as much as I try to battle my internal feelings of jealousy or envy, I still get them (even if just mild, but they're there).
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male
reader, FountainOfIndifference  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 I find it hilarious that only females have answered to this question so far. Seriously. I don't know if my reply will make things all better or get me pelted with stones by a bunch of women, but in any case, here we go.Almost all men sneak a peek every now and then. It's not like we do it on purpose or anything, it's just that our eyes seem to have a mind of their own.Our mind will go: "NO NO NO NO DON'T LOOK AT THAT LADY."But of course our eyes will reply: "WHAT? WHAT? I CAN'T SEEM TO HEAR YOU. YOUR SIGNAL IS JAMMING. OH HEY LOOK, A HOT LADY APPROACHING FROM TWELVE O'CLOCK. JUST GOING TO SWOOP OVER AND TAKE A GANDER."The eyes of men are like kamikaze pilots. As for the jealousy, well, it's natural to feel a little jealous. I guess I'd feel jealous too if my girlfriend ogled at other men (but I don't have one, so I can't actually answer you on that). But a quick peek wouldn't get under my skin so much. A glance or two shouldn't be all that bad, but if it continues or it becomes ogling after a while, well, there's a good reason to be jealous, even angry. Jealousy just happens. Emotions just pop out of nowhere.In the end, some people just aren't as affected by jealousy as much. They pass off such things with a joke or a witty comment.Not everybody is capable of this. If you feel jealous, well, you're human. But I'm not saying that those joke people aren't human. Just... less so.Which doesn't make sense, because I'm one of those people. Does this mean I'm not human? PANIC.D:
A
female
reader, xxstaceyxx  +, writes (5 February 2009):
at the end of the day it is natural to get jealous because you like to feel like you are the only one especially when you are in a relationship.. it doesnt seem fair that we get jealous but sometimes it works the other way just men are less likely to express that they are jealous.
You do have every right to be jealous it is only natural to feel that way
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A
female
reader, Auntie Jez +, writes (5 February 2009):
Men do look at women - even happily married ones have a sneaky look BUT they should not oggle someone in front of you. Its very rude for a man to do that. My other half did this when we first started going out and I told him not to do it so now he doesn't.Jealousy is a funny thing - some women (and men) dont suffer from it much, some a bit and some people suffer really badly. Each person has their own limit and it can change as you get older too. If you have a severe problem then you should get your doctor to refer you to a councillor to see where this problem has arisen, but if its just mild then you are probably quite normal!I do get jelous but have found the best way is to be honest with my partner and even make a joke of it now and again just to remind him.Try talking to a friend who knows you both the next time you feel like this to see if you are being 'over jelous' or your b/f is behaving unreasonably - or a bit of both! And talk to your man he may be totally unaware that this is upsetting you.Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): Men do look at women - even happily married ones have a sneaky look BUT they should not oggle someone in front of you. Its very rude for a man to do that. My other half did this when we first started going out and I told him not to do it so now he doesn't.
Jealousy is a funny thing - some women (and men) dont suffer from it much, some a bit and some people suffer really badly. Each person has their own limit and it can change as you get older too. If you have a severe problem then you should get your doctor to refer you to a councillor to see where this problem has arisen, but if its just mild then you are probably quite normal!
I do get jelous but have found the best way is to be honest with my partner and even make a joke of it now and again just to remind him.
Try talking to a friend who knows you both the next time you feel like this to see if you are being 'over jelous' or your b/f is behaving unreasonably - or a bit of both!
Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (5 February 2009):
 Human nature is a mysteriouse thing and we we never fully understand it.
Im a very jealouse person and much as I try to stop the feelings they will always be there, so now I tell any partners about my jealousy and happily the love of my life does not mind in fact he has a jealouse streak too.
We talk about jealousy and try and make sure we dont hurt the other one (get it wrong at times too) but I tell him if he has done something to upset me and vice versa.
Trust comes into it too, my ex of 14 yrs had the wandering eye and made sexual comments about women, got on well with pretty women, always helped out women and then left me for a younger woman so maybe I was right to be jealouse with that one.
Who knows why we have the green eyed monster but maybe its to protect us and make sure we are alert to the female predators that are after our man lol.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): First off, you can't do too much about your feelings when your boyfriend oggles a lot of other women, stuffing them down and ignoring them won't do you any good and the anger will build up and will come out in other ways....
When you love someone, there is possessive element to that, and feeling threatened or fear of loss is part of the jealous feelings that emerge.
Honestly, I think when men are trul in love, they don't "look" as much at other women, they have "eyes only for you", so you have reason to be a bit jealous if they let you catch them looking, it is pretty rude really to do that when you are with the woman you are with.
So, I think it is human to be jealous when that happens and you might want to let him know how you feel instead of telling yourself you shouldn't. What good is that going to do you or your relationship? It is never good to be inauthentic, your boyfriend is going to see right through that.
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