A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi how do guys get girlfriends so quickly and some girls don,t even get a chance. i know i like a guy he wouldn't even consider me a girlfriend understand no circumstances but others girls he would consider girls. girls that he doesn't even know. how is this?do guys only treated the girls they fancy alot better then girls he friendly with.what makes a girl girlfriend material and not another. i need to know which i think is very unfair.do guys ever get rejected? do girls they fancy ever rejected them? do guys always succeed with girls they like? do guys pick up girls randomly as girlfriends and just ask them out straight away.the guy i like rejected me and he looked for girlfriend and she never rejected him and now he's full of himself being, and he thinks no girl will reject him and he thinks every girl fancies him .that is so unfair. why is it when i fancy a guy i get rejected, but when he wants a girlfriend he doesn't get rejected? thats not fair, why do all girls facny him and accept his offers but i get rejected? thats not fair. why don't girls reject him for change and he can see whats feel like to be rejected. But no, girls have to like and fancy him and thats what makes me so mad. why is it that way? it really makes me mad. why does love happens so quickly for him but never for me?why can't he be rejected and stupid girls like him as a boyfriend and but not me. i could scream i am so angry its just so unfair.its cruel and unfair. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Hi. You sound younger than 26 to 29 to me. I'm a typically shallow man insofar as the initial attraction will be highly visual. Most men are programmed to go for beautiful, slim curvaceous women. Women who clearly look after themselves in both mind and body are highly attractive. These women have high self-esteem. If a man can attract such a woman then naturally we will also feel good. Mind you, some women can be so wrapped up in their own /appearance interests that they may actually be unattractive to a man, even if they are classically beautiful shall we say. The more romantic the man the more choosy he will be, the less likely he will ask many women out. A man who is less choosy, less romantic and less sensitive may ask out a woman every other week and not care is he's rejected. This is the guy who will chop and change girlfriends as often as his socks, but through process of experience/elimination he is more likely to find the one who’s right for him earlier in life. To summarise, stop looking for that perfect guy - there's no such thing, but do keep looking for the guy who is perfect for you in the hope that you'll be perfect for him! Most men don't like fat bubbly women though 'cos they think they may have a personal hygiene issue. Don't be stick-thin either - drug addicts are also a turn off! Just take pride in yourself and know your limits! Everyone has personality, that’s why for the man the icing on the cake is if the woman he’s with is a nice person (which includes a caring nature and trustworthiness) with a nice face and of course body (guys are genetically programmed to find such women appealing – so deal with it!).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Guys get rejected all of the time.
Don't take it personal if someone you're attracted to does not feel the same way. I know it probably won't make your pain go away, but when I think about all of the guys who rejected me, I am very, very glad that I did not end up with them. Most were close to the kind of guy I wanted, but fell short of being someone with whom I could have a successful relationship. One guy in particular reminds me of the guy you're complaining about in that he did NEED many girls to be attracted to him. I honestly doubt he has ever had a serious girlfriend, because he would flirt with girls and pretend to be really interested, but it was all for an ego stroke. He just wanted them to be in love with him. Kept himself on a shelf, so to speak...out of reach of the swarms of girls who liked him.
Maybe this guy likes you as a friend and doesn't want to ruin things? He might not be looking for a serious relationship, since he goes out with a lot of girls, and perhaps he knows that you are so he doesn't want to hurt you (or might have intimacy issues where he might not want to get attached himself).
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