A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why are men scared of life ? ive given so many men chances after they claim so many excuses . they get given 'gold' to say they darent do things and no joke it could be smal things such as meeting up in a pub for a meal theyd rather end things before they start why tho ? any mens views will be grateful as with womens views Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): im the op. Some have been from online dating . ive only just started trying this out within the last 3 month i had a date and no spark fair enough thats fine but then had another date he claimed to like me was desperate for a 2nd date this dragged on for 3 month cancelled 4 times then got cold feet he wanted to talk the talk but im reluctant to do that, these are strangers after all . My profile is very clear on what i do want i told him jog on he was wasting my time. Others have been from mates setting me up they also claim to like me want to see me again but 'chicken ' out of dates and because these are my friends mates i know if theyre lying about not being free ive been told the guys stop in to watch their favorite programs . I know it takes a lot to find the right man but i always seem to get the desperate ones who want the relationship but wont put any effort in . it just gets me down that i think ill never find someone
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 November 2016):
 You post lacks a lot of INFO, OP.
Are these men married men you talk to online? From dating sites? Where do you meet all these "questionable" men?
If they are married men or guys who are "just" playing around online then yes, they WANT the fantasy, NOT reality. Which means they WANT to have dirty talks, have you send sexy photos, play a fantasy game, but when YOU ask to meet... they go OH NO and run the other way. Can be because they aren't as good looking as they represented themselves as (using someone else picture) or (old picture) or they are in a relationship/marriage and don't want to get found out.
But I seriously doubt ALL men are like this.
My advice IF you met these guys online, change venue. Either find another dating site or meet-up groups instead. Give yourself a "deadline when you talk to a guy. Let's say 3-5 week of talk then meeting up, if they can't do that... stop talking to them and move on. Do some reverse image searches (if these guys are from dating sites with pictures on or they send you pictures) and see what comes up.
Also IF you find these... scaredy-cats on online dating sites and they contact YOU first.... ADJUST your profile. You might be attracting the "wrong" kind of men not because who YOU are, but how your profile is worded and look.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (19 November 2016):
 Could use a few more facts to fill out the picture. Is this your view of all men or just the ones you have dated?
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (19 November 2016):
I don't think all men like that at all. Most want to be in a relationship with a nice woman like you. Most of the ones yout mention can be that way. Can describe more details on this topic? Maybe men are use to doing things differently or they fear commitment also. So they always tend to run away from being in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2016): I dont think scared is the right word, maybe cautious. Some guys are emotionally unavailable for different reasons. some guys dont want a relationship, they just might want to hook up. You need to talk to them to find out or pick up on their interactions with you on what they want. Women are the same way. Most people now a days are not up front because unfortunately theirs no need to be thanks to texting, social media etcAll you can do is make clear what you want and never settle. Theirs plenty fish in the sea so just keep on fishing. good luck.
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