A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this boy for around 2 months. I'm 17, he's 22 and he has a 4 year old son. He's happy with how things are between us and doesn't want to change it while I can't stand waiting for something that might not even happen! Because of this I'm thinking, shall I just leave it? I don't want to get hurt, I don't think he's using me for sex but I couldn't stand it if he was. He also says that I'll most likely be 'hassle' in the future which doesn't say a lot for how our relationship would be like if we ever had a proper one. Shall I just leave it before I'm totally smitten with him? If he wanted me then he'd show it right? Well he doesn't and surely he's old enough to understand the give and take, love and respect in relationships. Why are men so hard to understand!!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): You're only 17 and you haven't had all that much experience with the emotions men. I'm a man, so I'll tell you what I think. I think you deserve better than a man who says to you that you'll be 'hassle'. That's not good coming from a man who already has a child. You have a lot of life in front of you and I promise you there are other men out there who will respect you. He doesn't.
So in short, yes, leave him and find someone else. It might hurt you at first, but you will get over him and meet someone far better who you will understand. Good luck xx
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (20 September 2009):
 I guess you're wanting more of an idea of commitment...Whether he wants to live with you, have children etc? And you feel like he won't as he already has a son?He sounds a bit more laid back than you are, whereas you sound like you need more structure and planning?
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A
female
reader, Miami Ad-Vice +, writes (20 September 2009):
I think you need to move on. He's 22 and he's a father so not only is he older than you but he's also mature for his age. Are you really ready for the 'hassle' in the future? I doubt it. He's probably got too much going on in his life to really have a serious relationship with you.With relationships, they are always good at the start but what happens months and years down the line is a different story. You are too young to be stressed out over a man. End it, stay friends and when you think he can truly be the kind of man you need... you can try again.
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