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Why are guys reactions rude when they hear I don't have facebook, or drink alcohol!?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Right. So I'm 18 and i don't have facebook or drink by choice. Many guys tend to find this strange or don't believe me! And I don't like the reactions they give! But whatever, it's my choice right?

I'm just not interested in facebook like everyone else is and i stopped drinking last month just because i wanted to. I'm confident and lively enough without having to drink! So it was no loss. But when i'm out and people hear that, or anything about fb... They instantly think i'm lieing or give this unimpressed/arrogant reaction!??!? And this isn't just a few guys, it's literally every guy i meet out. Even my guys friends!!

Like they find it impossible that even though everyone else is drinking, that i manage to have fun and be confident and happy on a night out sober!?? Or that i'm an 18 year old, who doesn't use facebook....

I don't see why i have to justify myself to anyone, especially people i don't know. But really, is it that shocking and strange to men that a young girl doesn't want to drink or use facebook?!?!?!?

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A female reader, Gherkinsaregrim Ireland +, writes (16 May 2011):

Just wanted to say good for you :)

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

angelDlite agony auntgood for you that you're an individual. a good guy would think you are an absolute CATCH that you don't use facebook or drink coz these 2 things can cause massive relationship problems. hopefully you will meet a guy in the future who himself doesn't use facebook or drink much. you sound like a great girl :)

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

Youre not strange at all sweetie :) and youre taking their reactions seriously cause you feel judged. I would too. In fact I have. I stopped drinking as well since nov 09 and that is mainly by choice. Keep in mind people will always make fun of or ridicule things they are unfamiliar with, and that is your moral. Forget these guys they are immature and have no business telling you what you can and cannot do. FB is toxic as well possibly. You do yourself no harm and if anything eliminate some social risks or even addictions with both booze and facebook. I applaud you. I like ampersand's idea of a tee shirt lol. Make a statement. Youre def not weird sweetie. def not! Good luck and head up!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

It is alright. you do not have facebook. so am i. i d not use it. it is ok.. do not read too much on reactions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

You have them blocked on the two easiest knicker droppers that exist in the 21st century and they don't like it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

Of course it's surprising, just like it would be surprising if you didn't have a mobile phone or you went to mass every day.

You just have to get used to it and something tells me you may be taking some of these guys reactions a little too seriously. So what if they find it strange? As far as they're concerned it is strange because "everybody" is on facebook.

As far as not drinking goes, they probably just don't get how you can let loose and have fun without it. I know when I'm out with my friends and can't drink for whatever reason I get bored to tears.

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, try and relax about it OP and not let it bother you, people are going to react that way no matter what you do. Best not to let it bother so much. I have a feeling you're taking this all too seriously, some of these guys probably don't mean any offence by it at all and you reacting so negatively isn't going to do any good.

If you're just going to get pissed off every time you get that reaction OP, then you're just going to get pissed off a hell of a lot, because you know it's uncommon not only to not drink but to not be on facebook. You can't help how people react to it, only how much it bothers you, so try and see it in a lighthearted way and if people are openly rude to you, then you treat them like anyone else who tries to be rude and you cut them down.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011):

Yes, it is shocking that you don't drink. I'm not talking about getting wasted, but alcohol has been with Western culture for ages. Are you sure you're not just trying to be different?

As for facebook, just tell them that "no, I will not give you my facebook address, because it's reserved for friends". I've had business partners tell me to find them on facebook, and I find it ridiculous.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (14 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI think most people have an idea that people "your age" live on Facebook 24/7. So when they ask about yours and you don't have one they might think its because you don't want them on your page.. (in your life)

Honestly, I would stay away from guys like that. If they don't believe you from the get go.. and think you are full of it.. why waste time on them?

Personally, I see nothing odd in it. And... isn't the legal drinking limit 21? *.* If you have tried the whole "getting drunk" and don't see the point it in, more power to you! Stick to your guns!

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