A
female
age
26-29,
*issTellAll
writes:I'm extremely confused and being pulled in a million different directions... bear with me if I get confusing...I recently got out of a very bad relationship. he was controlling, manipulative, and overall not right in the head. I still find myself completely in love with him though. We still talk and every time I try to convince myself to leave I get pulled right back in. He was furious with me the other day for reactivating my facebook (which I had deleted during our relationship to soothe his loads of trust issues, to no avail). I told him that I am not his girlfriend, he has no say in what I can do. Even after everything he has done from destroying my social life to killing my self-esteem, I still have him up on this pedestal in my head.On another note, since I started up my facebook again I've been contacted by several people from my past. Sure, I don't mind talking to them. I'm a nice person, I like people! I've come to find two of my oldest, closest guy friends (one who happens to be an ex) are after me, another somewhat good friend is flirting, and my ex (who dumped me... through a text message) is befriending a family member, asking my friends about me, and texting me. What gives?! After being in such a horrible relationship the last thing I want is a new boyfriend. So of course now I get attention?! I know that for the most part these are great guys, but I simply want nothing to do with romance right now. I feel so disgusting because of my last relationship. I feel like these guys just want to exploit me in my time of vulnerability. I just want to keep them at a distance and just be friends. Is that so much to ask!?I'm sorry if this is long-winded or a completely useless question. I sort of needed to vent and would like any outside opinions, words of wisdom, anything.Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (3 July 2011):
 just be honest with them, tell them you are out of a bad relationship and really not looking for another one at present. if they don't accept what you say and they persist in asking you for more than friendship, then maybe they are not as great as you thought. i hope they understand, a little bit of time to yourself when coming out of a bad relationship is NOT too much to ask, and i think you are doing totally the right thing. guys are bound to hit on you coz they know you are single at the moment, don't worry about it, you will feel differently in time
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