A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 40 yr old single mum of a 7year old boy who I adore .I have a great job wonderful family and friends.I am on numerous dating sitessnd for the past 3.5 years have had several relationships/stroke flings. I always get caught up in the romance and end up hurt.I am told that I am attractive and look very young .My sadness is that I never seem to meet the right guy. Im always getting mail from young guys looking for a good time and I never reply. I feel so loneky and am begining to lose hope of meeting a good guy. My job is 98% femake and all my friends are married and I dont get out much. I dont want to give up and be lonely .Why am I so unlucky in love ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (10 August 2014):
 I am sorry to hear that you feel that way. When one isn't in a relationship it sometimes appears that we are unlucky in love. It also would appear that others have all the luck in a relationship and that someone we are doing something wrong.
Sadly, love and finding the right person is tough. If it were simple, the divorce rate would be a lot less than what it is, and there wouldn't be a plethora of dating sites. Just about everyone face challenges in finding that right person.
I would encourage you not to give up hope. It sounds like you have had some successes -- you've had a few relationships / flings, but I know from the sounds of it you are looking for something more meaningful.
First off, if you know someone isn't right, and you are looking for long term, don't settle for short lasting. Ultimately you are removing yourself from the "market", even temporarily. That means you aren't available for someone special.
Secondly, improve upon yourself and use this time to bond with your son. He will only be young once and this is an ideal time for you and him to bond. Take advantage of this time to really be an influence over him.
Thirdly, be open to meeting guys through social settings. Dating sites can be useful, but in a sense it is a human grab bag. Find a social outlet that you enjoy and ultimately you'll find someone who at least shares passions that you do as well.
Finally, cheer up. Things will get better. Just don't lose hope. People do find love even as mature adults.
Eddie
A
female
reader, ImissFuturama +, writes (10 August 2014):
 If you haven't already, take the initiative with guys. Meaning don't wait to receive messages, send a few of your own messages to guys who catch your eye on these sites. Some guys will appreciate this, and even be surprised by it.
You're right to not respond to guys who clearly only want sex, if that's not what you want. However, there has to be guys on there looking for the same thing you are. Maybe they have wanted to message you, but didn't know what to say. So if you sent the first message, it would give them something to work with.
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A
female
reader, delightful84 +, writes (10 August 2014):
Try looking somewhere else than a dating site.
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