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anonymous
writes: Am 18 and my b/fs 22 we’ve been together for almost 6 months now and I love him very much, he says he loves me too and I believe him.But I just cant seam to stop thinking that he will/is cheating on me and I get extremely jealous of other girls being around him.Hes never gave me any reason to distrust him and hes never flirty with other girls,he treats me amazingly.I love and appreciate the time I spend with him but these feelings just don’t want to go away.(Past) Boyfriends have cheated on me and I donno weather this is the problem or if it’s just something I séance off my boyfriend.I’ve NEVER cheated on him (or anyone for that matter)But I just can’t shake the feeling something’s gona crop up if I just let my guard down and stop thinking like this.I’m desperate for this relationship to work after being single for 2 and a half years but am terrified my thinking like this will push/make me push my boyfriend away.
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female
reader, Abbiijade  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 Love, I am exactly the same.Exactly the same.I want to be a councillor when I grow up.I hate my boyfriend being even just around girls.He's amazing and im so terrified ill drive him to leave,or cheat, because i am just so paranoid and petrified.What your exes did to you, has affected you, even if you believe it hasn't.Your mind has been programmed to believe that all guys with hurt you.You've been hurt so instead of getting hurt, you're preparing yourself so that if you do it "wont be as bad"Believe it or not, it's totally our fault if they cheat.Would you stay with you?have some faith.He's stood by you.Everytime he's gone out, nothing has happened yet right,so why will the future be any different.Just, change, before you lose him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): I know the situation your in because im in the same senario, thats mainly the reason i came across this web page. i find that its mainly from past experiences. Ive been with my bf for over a year now and still get paranoid! But its gotten better as i find i can trust him as ive never been able to trust men from past experiences, such as being cheated on. My bf's understanding and helps me not to be paranoid, you should definately talk this through with your bf and make things work. When your keeping feelings like this bottled up it can break a relationship. Best wishes
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male
reader, rumncokecanada  +, writes (3 April 2009):
Im was like you before i got on paxil, constantly i was thinking and argueing about where my g.f was and what time she was gonna be home as i constantly was calling her. IM an x cheater myself and had many woman cheat on me, I would get drunk and right away i would snap on her thinking she cheated on me. I did alot of blow and drank alot and it brought out the paranoia in me. I got on a drug called paxil and now i dont think the way i thought before i took this drug. I wouldnt let her go on the computer on chat sites cause when i was on there i would talk to woman i thought she would talk to guys. I couldnt sleep knowing that fact she was on the computer,as i would be on those chat sites talking to woman myself. Reasons of paranoia is that your low in seritone levels and makes you think till you go crazy.
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female
reader, lollie_p +, writes (14 July 2008):
HEY ! i completely underdtand where your coing from i feel like this too with my boyfriend no matter how hard i try the feeling dont go away !!
my theory i give him alot more extra space to keep him wanting im 19 hes 23 same kind of senario ! i tend to put it to the back of my mind and when i feel like im going to question him i take myself outside and give myself a good talking to !! if hes going to do it he will just have faith !! x
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female
reader, smiler08 +, writes (21 May 2008):
ive been in your situation before and its not a nice feeling to have is it?
you say your with him 6months and love him and he said he loves you and has gave you no reason to make you think he will/is cheating so theres no reason for you to think that.
me and my bf were together for 8months and i let my paranoia get in the way the same way your doing now and i drove him away and its only been latley this has happened and i am still trying to get him back.i was so convinced he was cheating on me but he gave me no reason to think so!
i think al you need to do is lighten up abit,trust him give him a chance im sure everything will be ok!he could be the man that will make you start trusting again but if you really dont want to lose him and love him dont let your mind control you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncheers for the advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): when your bf's are out you never know what there doing and i can see where you are coming from, but perhaps your just paranoid. I f he loves you he won't cheat. Perhaps you could suggest that you go out with him next time he plans to go out round town? At least then you know he definately won't cheat.
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Hi
You need to stop stressing and work at your relationship for it to work out. You need to get a hold of yourself and realize that the only reason you feel like this is due to your bad experiances. Not all guys are the same and you may have the 1 in a million bf. Hang on to him and let go of your insecurities.Also you have been single for a long time that could be the reason for you insecurities.Stop stressing, you should speak to him for reassurance.
Regards,mail ma if you wanna talk
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female
reader, honestheart +, writes (13 September 2007):
If you carry on like this, you will push your boyfriend into the arms of another. Like you, i was fed up of being cheated on and disrespected. You need to talk this over with your boyfriend. Explain how you;ve been hurt in the past and that you don't mean to be jealous. If he's a decent guy he'll reassure you and help you to get over your insecurities. I now take the view that if men don't like me for who i am then that's tough, pleanty more fish in the sea.
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 September 2007):
Sounds like you may have low self esteem. Watch him closely and snoop when you can. If you find nothing, rethink the underlying reasons for your mostly baseless thought. Maybe you are picking up on suttle clues you are not conscious of. Find them out and investigate. Good Luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Yeah I definitely think that your fear is related to your being cheated on in the past. You can develop fears like this over anything, really. Like my mom is deathly afraid of mice because of an experience she had when she was younger. I think she was in a place and a mouse fell on her. UGH! So she is like psycho when she sees a mouse. And she has never gotten over her fear. But being cheated on by a guy is nowhere near as bad as having a mouse fall on you. You have got to be realistic here. Yeah guys are capable of cheating on you. But not all will. And not all are like that. But being ready for a relationship also means being ready for the repurcussions of that relationship. I mean he might cheat on you. He might dump you. He might ask you to marry him. He might do alot of things, good or bad. But you have to be realistic. Anything is possible. That's life. Period. And you have to be ready to expect the unexpected. If you don't feel like you are ready to be realistic or ready to handle the repurcussions of a relationship then maybe you are just not ready to be in a relationship. EVERY relationship carries the risk that at least one person will get hurt. But this doesn't mean it will be you and it doesn't mean either of you will get hurt. What if you guy's live happily ever after?? That is sort of possible too. But break up and heart ache is just a risk that everybody in a relationship has to take and in a way be ready for and has to be realistic about.
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