A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I really struggle when knowing if I like a guy or not, and I was hoping you could give me some advice.I never know if I like the guy himself, or the idea of him. For example, if I tell myself I like a guy, I like him- but as soon as we start texting im not interested.If a guy doesn't text/fb me first, then im automatically semi-obsessed.I don't know if this makes sense, but I don't understand why im so obsessed with the chase and I don't really know what to do about it!Does anyone have any advice?Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): As CMMP says you need validation. You're not a bad girl. You're young and just getting used to being around boys.
You like all the attention and flirting. That part is okay.
You need to feel attractive enough to be desired. You want handsome boys to chase you, to prove that you're pretty enough to make boys want you badly. This is okay too.
It's not about how pretty you are, it's who you are as a person. That's what is more important. You want people to like you for who you are, not for how you look; or just because you're a girl.
Once you know you're pretty enough to get him, then you don't care about him anymore. If he doesn't chase you, then you feel you're not really pretty enough to get every guy's attention. Then it bothers you. That's conceited and unfair.
You'll get a reputation, and make the boys talk about the tease you are, and they will start ignoring you. You also hurt the feelings of the nice boys, who really do like you.
Try to find out if you really like the boy first. Hangout with him, to see if he is really fun to be with; and easy to talk to. Make sure he will be nice to you. Then give him your number.
Stop just going after them, because of how he looks. That's the only reason you're doing it. It's going to backfire.
Everyone will think you're a mean and conceited girl, who just can't get enough attention; and likes messing around with everyone's feelings. Even other nice girls will start to dislike you. That will happen anyway. Jealousy.
You like being popular. It's a new feeling, and it feels good. Don't get carried away with it.
Not that everyone will, but don't make good people not like you for the wrong reasons.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (5 September 2013):
Because you only want validation that you're worth a guy's time. You want approval, not a relationship.
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