A
female
age
51-59,
*eardrop33
writes:Can anyone tell me what my problem is?? I am with who I think is a lovely guy but at the moment I am angry with him and I don't want to see him tonight...why? I have been with him 7 months this month,I am a very insecure person due to my two previous partners. He is a Facebook addict like many men are and one night I got a bit huffy as he was busy chatting to other people mainly women who work with him and I was sitting next to him saying in my head...hello I am here you know..we chatted about it he said sorry and wouldn't do it again but he did a couple of weeks later. He works as a Bouncer at the weekends and one of the nights he wasn't working but still had to go to take his brother through to the place,so we decided to stay and have a few soft drinks while waiting for him,while we did he sat staring at the bar maid for a while and I spoke twice to him as he did so but he never answered that annoyed me so I was angry the next again morning about it and he said sorry but he was asleep!!! When we first met he admitted he had feelings for someone more than 20 younger than him...he is 48 but she did not take him on and said they are just good friends...if he likes the blonde,skinny.busty types then why the hell is he with me.Why am I like this today?
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 January 2011):
 hi
i agree with petinal, definitely make a list to weigh up his good and bad points. think about the sort of behaviour you find it hard to tolerate. you've heard of 'ticking the right boxes'? well sometimes the people we are with 'tick all the wrong boxes' i used to think that 40 odd year old men would be more mature than the younger ones, but now that i have gotten older myself and i am meeting 40 odd year old ones, i've found this to be not the case, so is this what is known as mid-life crisis? men who don't want to commit, want to go on 'lads' holidays, clubbing with 'the lads', more interested in their mates etc, play on facebook with young women. seems to be an epidemic of men who don't wanna grow up, hey i suppose none of us want to get old though! bouncers are in the same league as taxi drivers, if you tell people you are seeing a bouncer or taxi driver they crinkle their nose at you! (and before anyone shouts at me that they are not all the same, I KNOW they are not all the same because my brother has done both these jobs and he is not a dirtbag!) but they are jobs that make it ridiculously easy to meet women, women who have had a drink! (need i say more?) so if you are an insecure person, a guy like that is not gonna make you feel at ease unless he is very special. i have been out with 2 cab drivers and a cabbie, and out of the 3, 3 have been liars and players, but that is just my score! i would be pissed off about the card too, should have had pride of place, up there with cards from close family. maybe he is not as serious about you are you are about him
xx
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (2 January 2011):
 No you are not being petty. He is hiding the card from someone by the sounds of it. Watch your back with him, seriously.
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A
female
reader, Teardrop33 +, writes (1 January 2011):
Teardrop33 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply..there was one other thing that got to me too and it may seem petty to you but gave him a really nice card at Christmas Time and when I went to his house the other day after Christmas I noticed that my card that I gave to him was not on the door with the others.....it was in a pile with his letters ect....so am I being petty?? x
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (1 January 2011):
A bouncer in a club, attracted to younger women, addicted to Facebook. It's just too easy out there isnt it not to make a commitment to someone in 'real life'. Unfortunately you have your work cut out for you. I wouldnt even know where you could start with him. He certainly isnt acting like he's committed to you. Ask yourself the question 'why are you with him, do a list'. Then ask him why he is with you. If these other things are bothering you, ask him to give some of them up, if he can't then he needs to be single doesnt he. At his age he is being involved in stuff that you would expect from a younger man, or a single man. It's all fantasy there isnt it, he may be having his mid life crisis.
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