A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can someone tell me why I am still jealous of my ex's new girlfriend?I have no desire to get back with my ex and it was me who ended things with him. I did kind of regret it afterwards as I made a hasty decision and now it's too late to go back - but for some reason - I just can't bear to see/hear about his new relationship with a girl who I dislike.I cannot even listen to the same music/watch the same films that I used to as I know they were both fans of it too.How can I get over this hurt and envy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2015): It's quite normal. Second-guessing your decision is bound to happen; when you're the one who decided to break it off.
He was supposed to be devastated, become a celibate monk, and live the rest of his life in isolation. People do heal and they move on.
You've admitted you felt it was a hasty decision. Hasty or no, it may have been a wise decision that you're having trouble coming to terms with. You're not supposed to feel good about breaking up. You're still healing, so you're going to be a little touchy that he's moving on and ready to start over. Jealousy takes a lot of emotional fuel. That energy is better used on yourself. Not her.
Reassess your broken relationship, and the events that got you so upset that you had to end it. It's natural to feel jealousy that your ex has moved on, and you feel he may have gone out of his way to replace you. Your ego is hurt; because it didn't work for you. It's embarrassing that he sees something in someone else, maybe he didn't see in you. In the end, your decision was the best for you. If he was everything you wanted him to be, you never would have considered breaking up. The cons outweighed the pros for you. Maybe it ilks you to see him progressing. If he shriveled-up and blew away like a leaf, perhaps you'd feel better? Focus on you and your life, leave her to hers.
He's her problem now. Time to move on and concentrate on your future and your love-life; and to get your head out of his.
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