Why am I hurting so much?

A female age 51-59, *earningagain writes:

Hey, I was in a relationship for about a year with a guy that i believed in my heart was the one. we got together and things were good for a few months then i started to feel like he was scolding me like a child, when he would hurt my feelings by something he said and i told him he hurt my feelings he would tell me that everything hurt my feelings, he would get loud when talking to me and dominate a conversation without allowing me to get a word in at all and when I did he would come on even stronger and louder to prove me wrong or make me think that the way i think is wrong and i shouldn't feel a certain way. He would call me names ever so often when he went off on one of his tangents (childish, immature) he would told me a few times that i was messing everything up. I felt really defeated when i would leave his house sometimes. I ended the relationship in a very hateful way, i was so angry with him, he would never take responsibility for his part in the relationship until the very end he would half heartly say he was sorry but to me the damage had been done already and i couldn't move pas the things he had said and done. he was in an abusive relationship for 20 years and i think he has gone back to her. my question is why am i hurting so badly over such a man? he was sometimes very loving to me. why am i hurting because he went back to her? i feel so badly about the things i said but he doesn't even seem to care about the things he did and said. he told me never to call or email him again and i have respected that (it's been 2 months). now it takes two to be in a relationship and i was not innocent, there were times i would be okay one minute and completely shut down the next, he told me that was emotional abuse. i am just so confused about my reaction to the break up, if i ended it why does it hurt?

View related questions: emotionally abusive, immature

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